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Old 08-08-22, 02:00 PM   #46
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A few days ago I lost my weapon of Math instruction... my trusty pocket calculator.
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Old 08-09-22, 08:33 AM   #47
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I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.
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Old 08-10-22, 09:34 AM   #48
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Happiness: The emotion that puts your face in motion. Fear: The emotion that puts your legs in motion. Anger: The emotion that puts your fist in motion. Lesson: Don't be afraid or angry and you won't have to run and fight.
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Old 08-11-22, 05:34 AM   #49
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You can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether the animal sees you later or in a while.
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>^..^<*)))>{ All generalizations are wrong.
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Old 08-11-22, 06:05 AM   #50
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Me: For the first time in life, things seem to be getting better.

Life: LOL, give me a second!
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Old 08-12-22, 04:13 AM   #51
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A zooology teacher asks the class 'What is the one animal in the jungle that a lion is afraid of?' The class answers: a lioness.
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Old 08-13-22, 12:27 PM   #52
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Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone.
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Old 08-14-22, 12:17 PM   #53
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What is the difference between having a cold beer and going to the bathroom? About 35 minutes.
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Old 08-15-22, 01:45 PM   #54
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Ladies and gentlemen thank you for flying xyz airlines, we hope you enjoyed your flight as much as we enjoyed taking your money. Please remember to take all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among crew members.
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Old 08-16-22, 05:23 AM   #55
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When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess.
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Old 08-17-22, 05:30 AM   #56
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Finding a treasure is like working on algebra equations, all you have to do is find the X.
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Old 08-18-22, 06:40 AM   #57
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Most of us don't realize it, but we're all part of something much bigger than ourselves, and we're all connected in some way, not just through Facebook.
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Old 08-19-22, 02:37 PM   #58
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You can talk to yourself and you can answer yourself, but if feel the need to pardon yourself, that's when you know something's wrong.
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Old 08-20-22, 01:49 PM   #59
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After (M)onday and (T)uesday comes WTF !
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Old 08-21-22, 08:30 AM   #60
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Laughing is one of the best exercises, it's like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it's even better with a friend.
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