The joke thread II - Page 339

Jimbuna · 02-22-24, 09:53 AM

What did the elephant say to the naked man? "How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"

Platapus · 02-22-24, 04:02 PM

Don’t you hate it when you are driving in a school zone, and the speedbump starts screaming?

magic452 · 02-23-24, 12:37 AM

At a class for couples who are expecting their first child the instructor gives some suggestions to them.
She tells the women they should start walking to strengthen the muscles that will make delivery easier.
She tells the husbands to encourage the walking by going with their wives and bonding through the pregnancy
and she adds that the walking would be better if done on a soft surface like sand or grass.

One of the men in the group raises his hand and asks, "Would it be OK if she carries a golf bag?"

Magic

Jimbuna · 02-23-24, 06:46 AM

What do u find in an empty nose? Finger prints.

Jimbuna · 02-23-24, 02:51 PM

My boss touched me inappropriately at work today. It's okay though, I'm self-employed.

Platapus · 02-23-24, 04:28 PM

What do my dad and Nemo have in common?

They both can’t be found.

Jimbuna · 02-24-24, 10:56 AM

Did you hear about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend?

Platapus · 02-25-24, 06:21 AM

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

They don’t know where home is.

Jimbuna · 02-25-24, 10:04 AM

Yo momma's like a door handle... everybody gets a turn

Jimbuna · 02-25-24, 01:44 PM

I've been taking Viagra for my sunburn. It doesn't cure it but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night.

Jimbuna · 02-26-24, 01:29 PM

What do you call a snowman orgy? A snowball fight.

Platapus · 02-26-24, 04:57 PM

Doctor hands me a baby:

Sorry, you’re wife didn’t make it.

hmmm

Eisenwurst · 02-27-24, 01:50 AM

2 guys are watching a dog lick his genitals.

First guy..."I wish I could do that".

Second guy...."He'd probably bite you".

Jimbuna · 02-27-24, 11:24 AM

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.

Jimbuna · 02-28-24, 08:34 AM

I love my FedEx guy cause he's a drug dealer and he doesn't even know it — and he's always on time.

02-22-24, 09:53 AM	#5071
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What did the elephant say to the naked man? "How do you breathe through that tiny thing?" __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-22-24, 04:02 PM	#5072
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,974 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Don’t you hate it when you are driving in a school zone, and the speedbump starts screaming? __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

02-23-24, 12:37 AM	#5073
magic452 Sea Lord Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Reno Nevada USA Posts: 1,860 Downloads: 85 Uploads: 0	At a class for couples who are expecting their first child the instructor gives some suggestions to them. She tells the women they should start walking to strengthen the muscles that will make delivery easier. She tells the husbands to encourage the walking by going with their wives and bonding through the pregnancy and she adds that the walking would be better if done on a soft surface like sand or grass. One of the men in the group raises his hand and asks, "Would it be OK if she carries a golf bag?" Magic __________________ Reported lost 11 Feb. 1942 Signature by depthtok33l

02-23-24, 06:46 AM	#5074
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What do u find in an empty nose? Finger prints. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-23-24, 02:51 PM	#5075
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	My boss touched me inappropriately at work today. It's okay though, I'm self-employed. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-23-24, 04:28 PM	#5076
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,974 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

02-24-24, 10:56 AM	#5077
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Did you hear about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend? __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-25-24, 06:21 AM	#5078
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,974 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

02-25-24, 10:04 AM	#5079
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Yo momma's like a door handle... everybody gets a turn __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-25-24, 01:44 PM	#5080
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I've been taking Viagra for my sunburn. It doesn't cure it but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-26-24, 01:29 PM	#5081
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What do you call a snowman orgy? A snowball fight. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-26-24, 04:57 PM	#5082
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,974 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Doctor hands me a baby: Sorry, you’re wife didn’t make it. hmmm __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

02-27-24, 01:50 AM	#5083
Eisenwurst Silent Hunter Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 3,633 Downloads: 58 Uploads: 0	2 guys are watching a dog lick his genitals. First guy..."I wish I could do that". Second guy...."He'd probably bite you". __________________

02-27-24, 11:24 AM	#5084
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-28-24, 08:34 AM	#5085
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I love my FedEx guy cause he's a drug dealer and he doesn't even know it — and he's always on time. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)