2022 Subsim Fantasy Football Season

[Gut Wrench]

OH MAN - ITS BACK!
Are you ready for some (make believe) football?

Yes, get ready for 16 of the most frustrating weeks you can ever imagine. It's just a couple of days until the kickoff of the 2022 Subsim.com Fantasy Football league, because some knucklehead wrote a song that includes the line "wake me when September ends" and I took a nap in August.

Draft day is Sunday 4 September, 2021, at 1100 PDT.

"That seems a late draft and short notice?" - ESPN

You know what - go freakin launch yourself in tube 1 and detonate. You wanna run the league, make your own.

"You got attitude running this year Comissioner?" - NBC

Go screw yourself.

"Will we be talking about Aaron Rodgers as much as we have about Danica Patrick?" - Aaron Rodgers

Oh, Mister vaccinated and immunized wants to talk about another disease. Next.

Folks, there are a lot of questions still to be answered and today is not the day for that. Today's the day we set the draft, and let you know, there will be football.

In accord with that, this years draft, in light of.... whichever pandemic that we have this year, we'll be doing the draft inside the safest environment recovered in every aircraft accident - inside a black box.




Folks, we've got a lot to do and very little time, and it may include a change of draft time, but we have three known starters.

You wanna a piece of me - nominate yourself for a Subsim Fantasy Football team and we'll see who's got the biggest fake (foot)balls around.

[Gut Wrench]

LAST CALL

You wanna be part of the Subsim Fantasy Football league?

You gotta use the below link, create a team, and then help will be provided.


https://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/f1/811537/invitation?key=2a6e34ac81e35f6d&soc_trk=lnk&ikey=9 a83d06d399b148c

[Gut Wrench]

CHANGE OF DRAFT DATE
Dumb Commissioner schedules draft for middle day of a three day weekend.

Yes, get ready for 16 of the most frustrating weeks you can ever imagine. It's just a couple of days until the kickoff of the 2022 Subsim.com Fantasy Football league, because some knucklehead wrote a song that includes the line "wake me when September ends" and I took a nap in August.

Draft day is Monday 5 September, 2021, at 1100 PDT.

"This is one day later." - ESPN

[Gut Wrench]

DRAFT DAY COMPLETE
...several surprises

The draft is complete.

With one monumental technological error that was not resolved until the tenth round of the draft, lets recap what happened when the Press couldn't see everyone's picks.

New comer to the season Anthony had the first pick of the draft (how da hell did THAT happen) and went with Johnathon Taylor (RB). The defending Torpedo Bowl Champions the Guns of Hochuli had the 10th and final pick of the round, and again, we're asking ourselves, how the hell did THAT happen.

The biggest upset of the draft were the Black Cats with Coach FYC getting the best draft selection, a feat that seems to regularly occur - when he doesn't show up. At the same time, Coach Thad and the Drunk Monkeys once again become positioned to end the season at 11-4.

Our Week 1 Match of the day is poised to be a ripper, as we go to Texas where the defending Torpedo Bowl Champions and Coach Casey host the visiting Australian Taipans. Our two international teams, the Taipans and the Nighthawks are back to traveling after spending the last two (2) years homes within the USA. Mister Chris (Nighthawks) is feeling pretty smug though, with the addition of two new teams this year one of his "away" games can be reached via British Rail.

Strap yourself in folks, this looks to be the best season of pretend football since.... well, since last year.

[Gut Wrench]

WEEK ONE SHOCKS
...are we looking at a Drunk Dynasty?

Week One in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. We've got all the news of all the games and all the results. We also have a little smack talking - the first time we've heard from one Coach since dinosaurs roamed the earth, but go ahead, be smug, it's only week one.

On one of the most solemn days of the year, we have all the fake news that you can handle, right after we give you this most important message.

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Let's start with one of the new teams to the league, the Boss Team. An expansion team this year based in Twickenham, England, the Bosses were hosting the most successful team in the history of the league. One of the foundation clubs, the Helmand Nighthawks only needed to catch a British Rail train for their shortest "away" match of the year, as the first time as a visiting team on home soil. The Bosses were lead with Jalen Hurts (QB) under center, but it was Johnathon Taylor (RB) who did all the damage on the ground against the Nighthawks. Patrick Mahonnes (QB) leads the Nighthawks this year and despite throwing for 360 yards and 5 touchdowns, the lack of offensive work from the rest of the team meant that Mahonnes (QB) carried the team on his back - but not for a win. On debut in the league, the Bosses take care of business and hand the Nighthawks an improbable loss of 167 - 122.

In the Pacific North West, the Who Dat Nation got to stay at home for opening day for the first time in several years as they hosted the Black Cats. The Black Cats came out of the draft with the best documented team, but as we've seen from the Cats, that don't mean a purr if you don't show up for the games. This year, the Black Cats and Coach FYC are on their game and slithered into town to give the Nation an exercise in execution. The Cats were just too strong and left town with their tail in the air and their head held high as they handed the Nation their first loss of the season. Final score in Eugene, Oregon, - the Black Cats beat the Who Dat Nation 171 - 103.

Our Match of the Day this week was the defending Torpedo Bowl Champions the Guns of Hochuli hosting the Australian Taipans. The Taipans are still sharing their home stadium with the other football team so they stayed on their road trip, having not been home in three years since before the pandemic. These two have battled each other over the years closely, but not this time, this was a landslide. It wasn't even Sunday night before we heard Coach Casey speaking about their many wins to the national media. I even heard Coach Pioneer's response - well I saw it, he used sign language - well, at least some of his finger to respond to Coach Casey. The Guns of Hochuli give the Taipans a skinning and stamp their dominance on the Surface Skimmers Division. Gunners thrash the Taipans 167-130.

Wow. When was the last time those three teams all lost on the same day.

If, there is a perennial fan favorite of any of the teams, its the Drunk Monkeys. Coach Thad and the Monkeys have historically been recognized as the best damm 2-14 team in the world with multiple seasons where they could have been 14-2. The Monkeys historically start off scratching their backside and just swing from side to side throughout the season. This year they get to stay at home for the first time since chimps walked the earth hosting another expansion team, Coach Anthony and the Brigade. The problem being an expansion team - ignore the Bosses, is that you're probably not going to win your first game. The Drunk Monkeys showed up and welcomed the Brigade by putting on an outstanding display where they almost reached 200 points. Finals score - Drunk Monkeys 197 - to the Brigades 90.

So where does that leave us at the end of Week 1, half the teams are 1-0, the other half are 0-1. Next week we go to England for the first of many international games where the Helmand Nighthawks will be hosting the Who Dat Nation. Both teams suffered losses in the first week of the year and as divisional rivals, it's not too early to start talking about divisional wins, as we've seen this division tighten in the last few weeks of recent years to cause multiple count back situations.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

You look around the league and there were a lot of scores worthy of this weeks award, but , our recipient's award has to be taken into account given the final score that the team put up. As they did last year, this team wins the MVT on opening day. For the effort 9 receptions for 184 yards and 2 touchdowns, for a total of 45.40 points, the Week One MVT goes to Justin Jefferson of the Drunk Monkeys.

[Gut Wrench]

GUNNERS FIRE...AND ANNIHILATE
...we're not looking at a Drunk Dynasty?

Week Two in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. Wow. We have one team that came within a yard of scoring the all time highest record, two teams that have started the season with their worst record ever, and whole bunch of other teams messing up the middle.

It's beginning to look a lot like the most intriguing season we've ever seen, so lets talk the talk and browse the result, right after this important message.

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Let's talk about our Match of the Day and the Helmand Nighthawks. Three time Torpedo Bowl champion, countless 2nd and third place trophies, all time toughest team to get a win against...but not this year. After suffering a staggering defeat in Week One the Nighthawks return home to face the visiting Who Dat Nation. The long haul form Oregon they arrived in the nations darkest hour, but the league decided to press on as Her Majesty - a lifetime club member of the Nighthawks, gave up her membership. Patrick Mahonnes (QB) a future hall of famer and starter for the Nighthawks put up decent numbers, which Nation starter Joe Burrow (QB) couldn't match. But out wide, the Nation outscored the Nighthawks almost 2-1. Looking at a deficit going into the Monday night Cam McCafferty (RB) kept the Nation powerhouse moving eventually running out convincing winners, 147 - 108. And just like that, the Nighthawks are 0-2.

Know who else is 0-2 - the Australian Taipans. After getting their butts handed to them last week the Taipans visit one of the expansion teams, the Brigade, and just bent over for another spanking. The Brigade worked their team fluently but it was their ground game of Nick Chubb (RB) and Mark Andrews (RB) that did all the damage through the middle. not even with their ace Josh Allen (QB) could the Taipans recover enough to make this a close game. The Brigade get their first win of the season convincingly beating the Taipans 153 - 119.


If you were bored watching those games then this is the game you changed over to. The Guns of Hochuli return to Sugarland and get their first home opponent in the Drunk Monkeys. With both teams having wins last week it was the Drunk Monkeys that were the high scoring explosive offense that started on Thursday night running off over 60 points. Coach Casey was heard to say "hold my beer" as he let Lamar Jackson (QB) off the leach to score an individual league record of 60.62 points. But it wasn't done there. The Gunners had more of their team contribute high scores and we watched and willed them on to pass 235...but came up short. This wasn't even close, recording one of the biggest blow outs in league history, the Guns of Hochuli account for the Drunk Monkeys 232 - 120.


Our final game of the week saw the Boss team also staying at home in England and hosting the Black cats. this actually turned out to be the closest (as much as it could be) game of the week. The Bosses were trailing slightly on Monday night before the unleashed Jalen Hurts (QB) who not only passed for a TB, but ran two in himself. The Bosses as an expansion team have come to play as their hand the Black Cats their first loss of the season, dropping them 185 -153.

So where does that leave the table.

At the top of the league the Guns of Hocuhili and the Bosses are both sitting a game clear at 2-0. Their control their respective divisions and it not too early to start talking about the divisional count back. For that, lets look at the bottom of the table.

On for and against, the Helmand Nighthawks at 0-2 sit in the cellar of the league. How did this happen? Is this is the end of the high flyers. But hold on, they're not down there on their own, they have company with the Australian Taipans also at 0-2. You couldn't have got money on that occurring before the start of the season but here we are with two foundation clubs looking for their first win. The rest of the league is 1-1.

Next week, we go back to Oregon for our Match of the Day. We'll be following the Who Dat Nation as they return home at 1-1 and meet the unexpected league leaders Boss team. We'll be there to capture all the action of this an all the games as it happens.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

Lots of choices this week. Plenty to choose fro, but we had to pick one. For the effort 12 receptions for 148 yards and 3 touchdowns, for a total of 50.8 points, the Week Two MVT goes to Stefan Diggs of the Guns of Hochuli.

[Gut Wrench]

INTERNATIONALS FINALLY WIN
...and here comes the first and second rewrites of the year.

Week Three in the Subsim Fantasy Football League, and finally, our international teams get a win. We get our first and second rewrite of the season - thank you Gunners, and one team finally gets a home game, after playing away for the past two years.

It may only be Week Three but make no mistake folks, regardless of what Peyton and Eli or Troy and Joe talk about...this is the place that you want to be on Monday night, as we get ready to go around the grounds in the most competitive make believe football you've never seen.

DONATE TO SUBSIM...AND NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM.

First up - all you Nighthawks fans can start breathing again, Mister Chris is back. In a historical first. the Helmand Nighthawks were off to their season worst start ever at 0-2 and were facing the prospect of going 0-3 against a stronger team. Well, screw you guys, the Nighthawks are back. The Nighthawks were hosting the visiting Black Cats who had jumped out to a surprising 1-1 start to the season. Starter for the Nighthawks, Patrick Mahonnes (QB) has played good in the first two games...but he can't carry the team on his back no matter how hard he tries. This week they entire Nighthawks put their wings on and soared. Course, they were helped by the absence of Mike Evans (WR) of the Black Cats who last week was given a one day suspension, for acting like AJ Brown. (HA - bet you thought we'd get through a season without mentioning HIM - wrong!) Cats started a man down and not helped by Kyler Murray (QB) not throwing a TD for 314 passing yards. This one wasn't even close folks, as the Nighthawks take flight and smash the Cats 106 - 93.

The Nighthawks still have some work to do, but so does another international team.

It was a nail biting day for the Australian Taipans who finally return home after a two year road trip and playing in makeshift stadiums. With the closure of the Australian borders in 2020 for Covid, the Taipans relocated to Southern California - but it wasn't the same. This week, after the end of the regular season of the "other" football, the Taipans returned to their home ground for the first time since January 2020. But they also returned home with a 0-2 record on the road, and it wasn't just 0-2, it was "a lot 0-2". Taipans were hosting the Drunk Monkeys who two weeks ago put up almost 200 points, but there would be none of that this week. This was a down and injury ridden team as the Taipans lost their fifth player of the season mid game to injury. The Monkeys situation was not helped when they left Dalton Schultz (TE) in the airport at LAX after changing planes. Taipans did just enough on Monday night with Dallas (DEF) to stay in front of the lower scoring Drunk Monkeys that we saw in Week One. Australian Taipans win this one 115 - 103.

Our Match of the Day this week was another International Home Game with the Bosses hosting the Who Dat Nation. Coach Anthony B, expansion coach of the year candidate after going 2-0 in the opening weeks was starting to get into the meat of the season where the champions have traditionally shown their strength. And the Nation showed up this week. Starting the game with .500% record the Nation and the Bosses traded blows left and right, swapping the lead five times alone late Sunday afternoon. Somehow, the score changed overnight in scenes reminisce of the Biden Election victory (been waiting to use that analogy) and the Nation skipped out to a slight lead. These two teams tussled in the highest scoring game of the weekend, and if the Bosses had played anyone else, they would have won. Not this week though, as the Who Dat Nation accounts for the Boss Team 134 - 128.

Our first thriller, and second rewrite of the week. As the games progress the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) make notes of the game and begin penning this column. This week the editorial changes began early Sunday as the game swung back and forth. This was always going to be a close game, even if Lamar Jackson (QB) put up over 50 individual points. Cee Dee Lamb (QB) was the last man standing on Monday night needing to score at least one touchdown after Tom Brady (QB) turned in a stinker performance. The brigade were down to 4 minutes before Lamb (WR) crossed to take the lead from the Gunners. Gunners had already exhausted their players and having no one start on Monday, the Brigade were able to fire by and steal a win. The loss by the Gunners is poignant as the last undefeated falters. Final score n England, The Banter Brigade defeat the Guns of Hochuli 137 - 129.

So lets look at where the league stands, but we're going to start at the bottom, again, this week.

The wins by the Hemand Nighthawks and the Australian Taipans lift them out of the windless column to 1-2, and fortune put half of the league alongside them with the same record. The other half of the league are 2-1, so after three weeks, the entire league is separated by just one game. Wow!

Next week, we're heading to the Carolina's where the Black Cats will be hosting the Guns of Hochuli. Both teams are previous champions of the league, the Gunners being the defending champions, and at this time these two are close enough to own the league lead between them. It will be a cat skinning firestorm in the Carolina's as we get to see past champions sort each other out and potentially, take the lead in the league.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

Last week we had lots of choices, this week we had to look a little harder. The expansion teams has lowered the forecast winning score from 160 back to approximately 125, so it gets a little harder to pick a winner with the lesser point available. For the effort 1275 yards and 2touchdowns, for a total of 28 points, the Week Three MVT goes to Joe Burrow of the Who Dat Nation.