2021 SubSim Fantasy Football Season

[Gut Wrench]

IT'S BACK!
Are you ready for some (make believe) football?

Yes, get ready for 16 of the most frustrating weeks you can ever imagine. It's just a couple of weeks until the kickoff of the 2021 Subsim.com Fantasy Football league.

Draft day is Saturday 4 September, 2021, at 0900 PDT.

"That seems a late draft and short notice?" - ESPN

The Commissioner of the Subsim Fantasy League has been in contact not only with world leaders on three continents, several airline companies and at least one car company. The safety of the players in this league is paramount, and must be addressed alongside the commercial aspects of our fan base and our sponsors. Some of our fans have been in isolation approaching a year and a half - we are honored to that they have stayed with us for this long.

"What plans do you have to keep these fantasy players safe?" - NBC

At the completion of the draft, the Commissioner will outline some of modifications for both the season and for actual game days. As the world wide pandemic evolves on a daily basis, the response from the Subsim League must be made in accord with the developments and advice from our stakeholders, and the Coaches themselves.


"Will we be talking about Aaron Rodgers as much as we have about Antonio Brown?" - Aaron rodgers

The discussion about players will continue, which is in part why the Subsim League waited until after the Mandatory Opt Out Day before announcing the draft date. With that in mind, the League is still available with four (4) expansion teams available for Managers. The League will assist new Managers if the choose to join. As a lot of Managers may still be quarantined at home, the expansion roles will be filled on first come first serve basis.


Folks, there are a lot of questions still to be answered and today is not the day for that. Today's the day we set the draft, and let you know, there will be football.

In accord with that, this years draft, in light of the pandemic, will be taking place in a manner befitting of quarantining in isolation - on the Madrid Maersk.





Managers be outfitted in their own shipping container along with their war room in separate containers, and transported to the ship. Containers will be loaded on board and a central corridor of containers converted into a ballroom, PR room, restaurants, hotels, bars, and even...a red light district. Each container will be lifted on to the exterior of the ship, with the inner are free for the communal containers in order to conduct the draft.


There are spare containers....I mean positions available for expansion Managers.

The link to the league is below:

https://football.fantasysports.yahoo...abfed1414ca5f1

If you've ever wanted to be part of a pretend fantasy empire - this is the ongoing pandemic that you have waited for.

Each week, your make believe team goes head to head with other make believe teams, in one of the most coveted make believe stadiums in the world. Put your team and sledging skills to the test as we get ready to play Fantasy Football.

[Arlo]

I'll take Mahomes for 500, Alex.

[les green01]

Originally Posted by Arlo

I'll take Mahomes for 500, Alex.

best thing to happen for the chiefs since len dawson

[Gut Wrench]

DRAFT DAY
Oh, it's on all aright.


It's Draft Day, let the fantasy begin.

The Madrid Maersk has appropriately arrived at a Latitude 0 Longitude 0 off the coast of Africa, cut its engines and is now waiting for the satellite crews to finish their work before the draft begins. The draft which starts in just under two hours.


Managers, last opportunity to get in on the ground floor of sixteen of the most frustrating weeks you can even partake it.


The link to the league is below:

https://football.fantasysports.yahoo...abfed1414ca5f1

If you've ever wanted to be part of a pretend fantasy empire - this is the ongoing pandemic that you have waited for.

Each week, your make believe team goes head to head with other make believe teams, in one of the most coveted make believe stadiums in the world. Put your team and sledging skills to the test as we get ready to play Fantasy Football.

[Gut Wrench]

DRAFT DAY COMPLETE
...several surprises

The draft is complete.


We needed little time at the war room and this left more time for day drinking as the 2021 Draft winds up. The Australian Taipans, who as yet, do not have a USA base in which to play (more to come on this) had first pick of the draft - quite a surprise. The defending Torpedo Bowl Champions, the Helmand Nighthawks - who this year will play form their home stadium of Wembley and retain access rights to their USA based stadium if required, were in the middle of the draft - the position from which most of the leagues have been won. Not surprising, Mister Chris and the Nighthawks have won more Torpedo Bowls than any other team, and have ever so slightly opened the gap on the second powerhouse team, the Who Dat Nation Rises.



The most interesting draft by all teams is, once again, and there really is not surprise on this anymore, the quietly achiever of Coach Casey who was the last Manager to pick up a running back, (Nick Chubb) but one of the first to pick up a quarterback, taking Danica Patrick's ex boyfriend Aaron Rodgers. The Gunners team is yet again stacked in the middle and with both the defending champion and the weakest team meeting the Gunners in the final weeks of the season, the waiver wire is going to be in demand for this team.


We can't talk about a draft without talking about the Drunk Monkeys, who once again, as the best damm Ghost team around, have selected a power house team that is already predicted to thieve several games from the stronger teams.


Its going to be a wild sixteen weeks folks. Keeps your eyes on the ball and keep reading as we get ready to play Fantasy Football.

[Aktungbby]

 

From today's W.S.J:It’s that time of year. The time when total strangers buttonhole you in line at the supermarket, look you straight in the eye, and ask, without the slightest trace of irony:

Do you want to know who I’m thinking of taking at running back?

That’s right. It’s fantasy football draft season. A period in which millions of otherwise reasonable people consume themselves with the task of building a roster of NFL players who will invariably give them more excitement, joy and frustration—but mostly frustration—than any other human beings in their lives.

If you have spent the past month and a half researching “value picks” for tight end; if you pray to the Cathedral of Matthew Berry; if you have taunted, via group text, another adult for taking a quarterback early; if you’ve given your team an atrociously corny pun name; if you would happily shave a year off your life for the chance to draft Christian McCaffrey, you get it. Fantasy football is a frantic, loopy, mostly meaningless, time-sucking ritual—but also incredibly popular, a modern American tradition, to the point it’s become, if we’re being honest, our new national pastime. No longer is FF the exclusive domain of geeks. There was once a time when the most exhausting experience on earth was finding yourself in an extended conversation with someone about their fantasy team. Now everyone talks about their fantasy team, without shame or even an invitation. It’s perfectly acceptable polite conversation. (Now, the worst experience on earth is finding yourself in an extended conversation with someone about NFTs.) Fantasy advice? I’ve got none. Don’t listen to an idiot like me—listen to the zillions of self-styled fantasy experts who extol the virtues of keeper leagues and auction drafts and using the waiver wire to make a major midseason improvement. It seems there are now at least as many authorities paying attention to fantasy football as actual football, to the point that NFL games can feel secondary to what’s happening to fantasy lineups. (If you’ve ever sat with someone during a dull Monday Night Football contest, and, after a worthless touchdown in the fourth quarter, heard them exclaim “YES! COME TO PAPA! THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED!” and dance around the room, you know what I mean.)

An entire mega-industry has blossomed. Fantasy is bigger than U.S. Steel. This column is maybe the only thing on the planet that is not sponsored by Draft Kings or Fan Duel. his column is maybe the only thing on the planet that is not sponsored by Draft Kings or Fan Duel.

There are six basic stages to any fantasy football season:

1. Optimism.
2. Despair.

3. Despair.

4. Illusory optimism.

5. Despair.

6. Despair

Of course, someone actually does win the whole thing, earning the envy of peers and colleagues and maybe even a stash of liquor or money. The important thing, however, is not to be the worst player in the league and to subject yourself to cruel loser’s rituals—like someone who was forced to sit in Waffle House for 24 hours (eating waffles to shave hours off the sentence), or get a tattoo of Rob or Rex Ryan’s face on their back, or have to stand on a traffic island with a sandwich board reading HONK IF YOU PICKED THE LIONS DEFENSE LIKE I DID.

Sound good? I know it does.

If you’re playing for the first time, enjoy these next few days, until the season begins and the adorable misery commences. Soon you’ll be in the thick of it, panicking over head-to-head matchups and roster deadlines and whether or not DeAndre Hopkins is definitely going to start on Sunday. Fantasy football is pleasure and punishment, wrapped into a shared, exhilarating and grueling bonding experience.

Sort of like…the rest of life.

GO VIKES!

[Gut Wrench]

TAIPANS WIN IN THEIR THIRD STADIUM IN THREE YEARS
...but its only Week one

Week One in the Subsim Fantasy Football League.


...and it's the first rewrite of the season. Unbelievable.



Many thanks to Aktungbby for that informative view, there's a team waiting for you next year.

We'll talk about the last minute stadium hire by an international team, the stadium of the other international team, and as always, the best damm ghost team in the league and their stadium play.

But before we do anything else, we have to give you the most important message you'll hear this week.


DONATE TO SUBSIM...AND NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM.

Lots to get through tonight. Lets start with the Taipans and the Black cats. At draft day the Taipans were still without a stadium. With the Australian continent in lock down and flights out of the USA to Down Under continuing only through Europe, it became apparent that the Taipans would need another stadium to host them this year. Last year they Taipans were in the Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego. The Q was demolished after their final game last year, and the expectation was that the Taipans would be able to return home, That wasn't to be so the Taipans took a lease on the Los Angeles Coliseum, one time Olympic venue. The Taipnas have a lease until the Covid restrictions in Australia are lifted.






The Taipans opened their campaign against the Black Cats,a team that they have consistently failed to put away. The Cats being a bogey team, particularly on opening day, was always in the forethought of everyone as both teams took the spotlight on Monday night. When Mike Evans (WR) only scored four (4) points for the Taipans, you could already hear the whispers beginning that this was going to be another implosion by the Taipans. The Cats had Chris Goodwin (WR) come out and dominate the Taipans wide receiver,s, but as good as he was, the depth of the Taipans this year carried them through until Sunday when they just blew out the Cats. With only Lamar Jackson (QB) scheduled to play on Monday night, the reach for the Cats was just too great, and the Taipans claimed their first victim of the year with a blow out. Final score, the Australian Taipans defeated the Black Cats 186-132.

Now, I will be the first to admit, that while watching the Thursday night broadcast of the Taipans- Black cats, I was not paying attention to the news ticker across the bottom of the screen until about 9pm when I realized that the Drunk Monkeys had put up 100 points. The Guns of Hoculi were hosting the Monkeys on opening night double header, and the Monkeys had stacked Thursday night with most of their players. This was a tactic not previously seen, so I switched over to watch Dak Prescott (QB) run out a 109 point lead over the Gunners. I thought that Josh Allen (QB) would guide the Gunners back into the game, but the Monkeys continued to pile on points well into Sunday afternoon. On Monday night the Monkeys still had Darren Waller (TE) to play but it was all over by that time, and just a matter of "by how much". The Dunk Monkeys, show their red rump to divisional rivals the Guns of Hoculi and decimate them with the highest scoring game of the week. Could this be the year the Monkeys ascend to the top of the tree? In week one, they account for the Guns of Hochuli in a 204 - 149 point landslide.

204 points scored by the Monkeys, unbelievable.

And now to our feature game of the week. The defending Torpedo Bowl Champions, the Helmand Nighthawks finally return home to Wembley Stadium, England, after they spent a year in exile while Covid took hold of the 2020 season. The fans were pumped to have their defending title holders and again, this years immediate favorite to win the Torpedo Bowl. Coming to town were the Who Dat Nation lead by Coach Fuel For Blood. Coach Fuel made some last minute changes prior to the flight to England and brought in three new players, cutting three from their draft. Opposing them was Danica Patrick's former boyfriend, Aaron Rodgers (QB) now sporting a haircut that makes hm look more like a member of The Grateful Dead than the Helmand Nighthawks. Rodgers (QB) played pitifully, scoring only 2.82 point. Like everyone else, I thought that the mark Andrews (TE) and Justin Tucker (K) would just run out the clock for an easy win against the Nighthawks, but like everything else, you never know what's going to happen. It came down to the final minute for Tucker (K) to make a distance kick to close the gap, but instead, they continued to run closer to the goal posts. When the game went into overtime it was just a matter of whether Andrews (TE) and Tucker (K) would get their hands on the ball. When Andrews (TE) needed to catch a pass, it was incomplete, resulting in a change of possession on the next play. In the end, the Nation just didn't have enough points against the Nighthawks, and Mister Chris's team goes home with the w. Final score, Helmand Nighthawks 130 hold off the Who Dat nation 125.

So where does that leave us at the end of Week 1, half the teams are 1-0, the other half are 0-1. Next week we go to Carolina where the Black Cats will be hosting the visiting Helmand Nighthawk. The Cats, even though it's only week 2, need a win to get on the board as their divisional rivals have a softer schedule than they do.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

You look around the league and there were a lot of scores worthy of this weeks award, but , our recipient's award has to be taken into account given the final score that the team put up. For the effort 10 receptions for 105 yards and 1 touchdowns, for a total of 32.50 points, the Week One MVT goes to Darren Waller (TE) of the Drunk Monkeys..

[Gut Wrench]

BLACK CATS SCRATCH OUT THE NIGHTHAWKS
...leaving only one undefeated.

Week Two in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. Here we go folks. As we go around the grounds from the weeks matches we'll talk about the shock upset of the year, we'll find out who the most unexpected and undefeated team is, and we'll catch up with the team that has surprised everyone without a win.

We'll do that, right after the most important message that you need to hear tonight.

DONATE TO SUBSIM...AND NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM.

Let's start in the Pacific north west where the Who Dat Nation were hosting the Gins of Hoculi in their home opened in Eugene. Gunners made one change to their scheduled team this week, adding Antonio Brown (WR) to the pack. Good luck with that! Gunner had the dynamic duo of DK Metrcalf and Tyler Lockett (WR) give them a great start to the game early Sunday. The Who Dat Nation, coming off an unexpected loss last week, were expecting to roll over the Gunners, particularly with home field advantage. The nation were trailing before Kyler Murray (QB) took the field for the Nation and put up 45 points on his own to give the Nation a solid score of 149 points. You would have won with that score in any other league, but not the Subsim.com league where anything can happen. Aaron Jones (RB) had a spectacular Monday night finish to clinch the win for the Gunners with a personal score of 41 points, twice his expected score. After losing their home opener last week, the Guns of Hochuli traveled to Oregon and spoil the Who Dat Nations home opener by winning the game with a score of 179 - 149.

In Los Angeles, the Australian Taipans of Southern California were hosting the Drunk Monkeys. The Monkeys were the league leaders with after week one with their shock upset win , and traveled across the nation to meet their divisional rival. The Monkeys, last week who rode on the backs of the Cowboys were little more than Rodeo (Drive) Clowns this week as they failed to reach triple figures. Their highest scoring player of the week was Calvin Ridley who barely managed to hang on to the wide receiving corps only touchdown. The Taipans, who set a steady pace throughout the weekend, put the gas pedal to the floor on Sunday night to put his game into the biggest blow out of the week. It wasn't even close. The Australian Taipans convincingly defeat the Drunk Monkeys 179 - 92.

Our game of the week, the Black Cats hosting the Helmand Nighthawks, and what a beauty this was. Cooper Kupp (WR) was spectacular for the Nighthawks putting up 42 points on his own, but fantasy is not a one player game. Tyree Hill (WR) failed to score a touchdown and barely even touched the ball for a low score of 5.9 points before letting Aaron Rodgers (QB) carry the Nighthawks to some semblance of a respectable score. The cats had come to scratch our a victory this week and with Lamar Jackson (QB) of the Black cats overpowering his opponent by scoring 41.25 points, it was left to the running backs to hand the Cats the victory. As bad as the Nighthawks star Alvin Kamara was who only scored 7 points, it left the way open for Black cats Derrick Henry to run riot and post the single player high score of the week. For the second time in two weeks, one of our potential ghost teams has scored over 200 points, lifting the Black Cats to up set win over the Helmand Nighthawks, 204 - 152.

After only two weeks in this season we are faced with just one undefeated team. In years past we have gone as late as week 14 before an undefeated team sustains their first loss, normally it happens somewhere around week eight or nine. This year, it's week 2 with only the Australian Taipans being an undefeated team. The Black Cats, The Drunk Monkeys, the Guns of Hochuli and the Helmand Nighthawks all sit at .500% with a 1-1 score, leaving only the Who Dat nation as the only team without a win at 0-2.

Who saw this coming?

Next week our match of the week will be in Texas with the Guns of Hochuli hosting the Helmand Nighthawks. If you want to win the Torpedo Bowl you're going to have defeat the Nighthawks at least once, and the Gunners path to the playoffs requires a win here. Likewise, the Helmand Nighthawks, having suffered a shock loss, need to right the ship immediately and dispose of the Guns of Hochuli in fashionable style. It looks to be a great match up folks, and we'll be there every play of the week to catch the action.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

This was no easy feet this week. When we look back at some of the matches form this week years form now, the performance of this player will still be outstanding. For the effort 182 rushing yards, 3 rushing touchdowns, 6 receptions for 53 yards , for a total of 53.70 points, creating the margin of victory for their team, the Week Two MVT goes to Derrick Henry (RB) of the Black Cats.

[Gut Wrench]

NO MORE UNDEFEATED OR WIN LESS
...what happened this week?

Week Three in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. And if you're scratching your head over this weeks results, you're not the only one. We were stunned when the last remained undefeated, was. But not as surprised when the last remaining win less, wasn't

Confused? Standby by and we'll give you all the results of the week in a comprehensive manner, right after this important message.

DONATE TO SUBSIM...AND NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM.

Ok, lets start with the biggest upset of the week, with the biggest impact of the draft. Lets turn the clock back first and review who was the number one pick in the draft this year? The Australian Taipans selected Cam McCafferty (RB) who played just thirteen minutes this week before snapping his ego and injuring a tie out. McCafferty is lost for several weeks - perhaps the season, and the Taipans suddenly look vulnerable. It can't be that bad though, they're playing in the Carolina's against one of the ghost teams, the Black Cats. they should still win easily, right? Wrong. The Cats sharpened their claws and went to town on the Tapians just slicing them up, even with Washington (DEF) scoring -4 points. the Taipns needed more negative scores if they were going to win this one - or any others, but the Cats unseat the last remaining undefeated team, upsetting the Taipans 162 - 129.


Our second game of the week in Texas saw the Guns of Hochuli hosting the Helmand Nighthawks. The Nighthawks were late arriving in the country thanks to the hurricane which diverted them to Iceland, then Canada, and quick detour to Los Angeles, and two flights to Denver and Austin before arriving late. Jet lag, fatigue, lost luggage, airplane rest rooms, missed connections, it just didn't bode well for a top performance from the Nighthawks, and it showed on the scoreboard. The Gunners were merciless in their attack of the opposition, with Josh Allen (QB) shredding the exhausted visitors. This wasn't even close, especially when AJ Brown (WR) only scored .3 points for the day - rushing for three yards. Three! Coach Casey gets handed a golden opportunity to steal a win away from one of the powerhouse teams and they do so effortlessly. Guns of Hochuli handily account for the Helmand Nighthawks 142 - 129.


Our match of the day was the Who Dat Nation hosting the Drunk Monkeys. Coach Thad of the Monkeys has been missing in action - for about three seasons - but still his team continues to show up and continues to play decent football - its amazing that this team could go this far without leadership, imagine what they could do with just some tweaking? The Nation in their home opener allowed two of their players to take mental health days, excusing both Devonte Cook and Darrel Henderson (both RB's) from the game. Never under estimate the power of alcohol infused primates, as the Drunk Monkeys just put paid to Coach Fuel For blood's error. The Monkeys were playing with a lot of Cowboys - which is a boom or bust situation, and this week, they took the Nighthawks to the line. Probably would have got them too if Amari Cooper (WR) had more than three catches for the money that Coach Thad is paying him. The nation gets out of jail, gets out of the cellar, and gets their first win of the season in unfashionable form narrowly defeating the Drunk Monkeys 123 - 106.


After three weeks we have a jumbled board and it's a little confusing, so lets piece this together one step at a time.


The win by the Black Cats jumps them to the #1 position on for and against while the Taipans drop back to #2 seed. The Gunners make up the trifecta of teams at 2-1. Occupying the bottom bunk, are two unexpected and one expectation. The Helmand Nighthawks occupy the #3 position, barely, over the Drunk Monkeys, while the Who Dat Nations Rises to join them at 1-2 in the number 6 seed.


But all of this could change next week.


We're back in Los Angeles next week to see the Australian Taipans of Southern California host the Helmand Nighthawks. In their first meeting since last years Torpedo Bowl, the Taipans will be without at least one star, while the Nighthawks need to stop their slide to the bottom of the ladder.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

Not hard to find the stand out player for this weeks award. For the effort 356 yards and 4 passing touchdowns, 9 rushing yards and 1 touchdown, for a total of 51.22 points, the Week Three MVT goes to Josh Allen (QB) of the Guns of Hochuli.

[Gut Wrench]

EVERYBODY IS LOOKING FOR A WINNER...
...and it's who?

Week Four in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. We had to go back into the history books after this weekends games to check the records - and we couldn't find any previous occurrences. We even looked further afield to see if we had something close.

What are we talking about?

Get ready, as we go around the grounds and find out about the most unusual results that resulted in the most unusual occurrence, right after this message.

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We'll give the strange occurrence in this the month of Halloween at the end of this report - but to get there we have to get through this week games. Let's start in Oregon?


The Who Dat Nation Rises, after losing their home opener had slipped to below .500%. Not a position they are used to but also not a position they are unfamiliar with. Coach Casey and the Guns of Hochuli were coming to town to do battle, and battle they did. This ended up being a low scoring affair despite the odds in Las Vegas, and the Gunners weren't helped any by the Rams, (Defense) who scored -1 ponts. Never take points off the board. The Nation, should have put them away easily bu a low scoring renegade receiving corps put the game back into the hands of Kyler Murray (QB) who put the team on his back and carried the Nation to a slender lead. I wouldn't be writing home about this win though, both teams still have some work to be done - but as we'll learn, that work is less than a half game away.

Our Match of the Day was the all international affair with the Australian Taipans of Southern California hosting the Helmand Nighthawks. Originally scheduled for the Nighthawks home stadium at Wembley, the grounds crew had double booked the venue and the game had to be transferred to the Taipans temporary home in Los Angeles. The Nighthawks flew in early and were ready to play, the Taipans thought they had an answer when they changed to Buffalo (DEF) scoring 28 points, but for the second week in a row losing their starting running back on Thursday night. The Taipans put their head down and did the work to amass a solid lead - and then Tyree Hill (WR) strode onto the field for the Nighthawks. Hill single handed ran down the Taipans lead and opened up a Nighthawk lead that looked comfortable. On Monday night, despite the lightning storm near their home ground delaying the inevitable, the Taipans win was left in the clutches of Keenan Allen (WR) to score thirty points. The task was too great and once again, the Taipns fall to the Nighthawks in the highest scoring match of the week. Helmand Nighthawks go home to England after defeating the Australian Taipans 185 - 167.

Our final game of the week was a thriller between the Black Cats and the Drunk Monkeys, two ghost teams battling it out for the number one seed - and its only week four. (Imagine what they could do - if they showed up?) Cat were down early as the Cowboys of the Drunk Monkeys ran out an early score. Coach FYC telegraphed by semaphore a game plan allowing the Cats to claw their way back into the game, with an even back and forth battle. On Monday night, it came down to just two players left to battle it out, Darren Waller (TE) for the Monkeys and Austin Eckler (RB). Waller (TE) was less than impressive doing little to nothing, and there was a sense of dread around the stadium that if left unchecked, Eckler could run away with the win. And he did. In the last two (2) minutes of the game Eckler peeled off a short run, to put him over 100 yards and score enough bonus points to lift the Black Cats to an unexpected victory. Final score Black Cats narrowly defeated the Drunk Monkeys 154 - 147.

We told you there was a unique situation in the league, and here it is. After four weeks, the Black Cats, a ghost team, have sole possession of the #1 seed.

Yup, never happened before. Behind them, everyone else is taking wins away from each other leaving the Black Cats to march on deeper into the season than they should. Can anybody stop these Cats?

Next week we go across the country to the Carolina's where the Black cats are hosting the Guns of Hochuli. The Cats retain the #1 seed after a count back. The Gunners are the second tier team in the Surface Skimmers Division but could easily fire off and ricochet their way into the #1 seed, especially with Helmand Nighthawks and the Who Dat Nation trailing the Black Cats.

How in the world does a ghost team lead the league in week four? Unbelievable.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

This was a powerhouse performance by this player, and much needed given the current ladder of the league and the unconventional play of the #1 seed. For the effort 11 receptions for 186 yards and 3 receiving touchdowns for a total of 53.60 points, the Week Four MVT goes to Tyree Hill (WR) of the Helmand Nighthawks.

[Gut Wrench]

INJURIES AND UPSETS
...doesn't bother the Cats?

Week Five in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. We're approaching the half way point in the season where we begin to learn who the potential Torpedo Bowl championship will be played between, but right now, that's anyone's guess. Our defending title holders just got above .500%, there are injuries around the league, Monday night come from behind wins, and the league leader is who?

We'll give you all those details right after this important message.

DONATE TO SUBSIM...AND NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM.

Our match of the day was in Carolina with the Black Cats hosting the Guns of Hochuli. the Cats lead the league - by a margin, despite the absence of Coach FYC. The Gunners come in hot but on Sunday at the last minute, Greg Kittle (TE) was moved in injured reserve - and not replaced! Playing a man down right from the outset was always going to be a problem, but, the Guns of Hochuli are not stranger to bending the bar, and between Josh Allen (QB) and Nicholas Chubb (RB) those two players alone put up over seventy (70) points. The Gunners looked good...right up until the Cats running backs of Derick Henry and Austin Eckler responded with sixty (60) points of their own. The Black Cats had Lamar Jackson (QB) playing late but by the time Monday night rolled around, this game was over - and it was a matter of by how much. This blow out by the Black Cats puts them on the radar as a well balanced team - even without their Coach, and one not be dismissed. The Black Cats ghost along to defeat the Guns of Hochuli in a season high points scoring display of 227 - 178.

If we're going to talk about injuries we're going to talk about the Australian Taipans. In the last two (2) weeks they have lost three (3) running backs and a quarter back, as they patch together a team to limp through the middle of the season. Flying up to Oregon where the Who Dat Nation Rises were waiting to meet the visiting snakes, Coach Fuel For Blood started without Devonte Cook (RB) leaving him one man down. The Taipans put up a reasonable score and the end result was going to be decided by the Monday night players. Mark Andrew (TE) put the game on his own shoulders and carried the Nation in for two touchdowns, over 100 yards and two 2 point conversions. It was not going to be enough, despite Andrew Thielen (WR) only scoring 6 points for the Taipans. The Taipans get out of Oregon with a win they probably shouldn't have, and stop their two game slide. Australian Taipans of Southern California narrowly defeat the Who Dat Nation Rises 157 - 138.

Drunk Monkeys were at home hosting the Helmand Nighthawks in our final game of the week. The Nighthawks have gotten off to a slower start than in years past where they led the field from start to finish. This year they are struggling to topple some obscene scoring by Ghost teams. Monkeys were playing without Calvin Ridley (WR) so that was always going to hurt the, Despite the wheel chair and the walking cane, Tom Brady (QB) rolled out onto the field and put up one the finest performances in the stars 900 year career. The Nighthawks easily accounted for the Drunk Monkeys 200 - 159.

Now, we have mentioned some of the obscene scores that have gone on. In week 2 the highest score of the season was scored by the Australian Taipans with 207. This week, the Black Cats knock that figure out of the park with their 227, and we can only imagine just how good they could be if their manager showed up. Oh well.

The incredible scoring machine of the Black Cats gives them sole control of the league with a 4-1 record - and they have also scored more points than anyone else. We'll see if the Cats can maintain their streaks as some of the player vacations during the season come into play. The Helmand Nighthawks and the Australian Taipans are equal at 3-2, and these two teams are looking like the possible Torpedo Bowl participants. The Who Dat Nation and the Guns of Hochuli are equal a game back at 2-3, and while their winning percentage is now above .500% yet, these two teams have the potential to strike back and obliterate the league. The Drunk Monkeys are doing their best impression of a wagging tail at 1 - 4.

Next week we go back up to Oregon where the Who Dat Nation will be hosting the league leaders the Black Cats. This will be their first meeting of the year and the first real opportunity for Coach Fuel For Blood to manage his team as the player vacations start. As usual, we'll have all the excitement from around the league.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

if you're a fan of a show casing what you can do in one half of football, this weeks winner will be your prime example. For the effort 5111 passing yards and 5 touchdowns, and a hard fought 13 rushing yards, for a total of 53.60 points, the Week Five MVT goes to Lamar Jackson (QB) of the Black Cats.

[Gut Wrench]

SOMEBODY STOPPED THE CATS
...before they ghosted off.

Week Six in the Subsim Fantasy Football League., and still our league leaders are a ghost team. This week we'll find out about the powerhouse team that fell to the cellar dwellers of the league. We'll find out just how many injuries there are on one team, and we'll look at some of the future weeks where the players vacation occurs during the middle of the season.

But before we tell you about that, let us tell you about this ....

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Our match of the day this week was up in Oregon as Coach Fuel For Blood attempted to put a halt on the Black Cats. The visiting Cats had been on a tear in recent weeks knocking off the current #2 and #3 seeds in the league. The Cats were looking like they were going to ghost their way through the season without Coach FYC until they arrived in Oregon. Cats were out on the field early Thursday night but failed to mount an impressive score, and you just thought that this might be the week that their march to the Torpedo Bowl falters. The Who Dat Nation, who for some inexplicable reason this season, have not lived up their history so far this year, turned on the pace and sent the feral visitors home to Carolina with a loss. The Who Dat Nation, finally, right the ship and stood the early season slide by convincingly defeating the Black Cats 162-124.


In Texas, the Australian Taipans slithered into town for a shoot out with the Guns of Hoculi. The Gunners were well poised to cut the snakes - until they left Nick Chubb (RB) on the starting team as an injured reserve. Coach Casey has made some minor changes to their team in recent weeks, and has quietly gone about business as usual. Despite playing a man down, the Gunners trailed the Taipans most of the weekend as we headed into Monday night. Holding a thirty point lead, it was inconceivable that the Australian Taipans could choke (again) on successive Monday nights. And choke they almost did. Josh Allen (QB) of the Gunners single highhandedly put the team in contention throwing for over 300 yards, a couple of touchdowns and a two point conversion, but Taipans kicker Trevor Bass continued to chip ahead to run out the clock with a Taipan victory. Taipans get a game up on the Guns of Hochuli be defeating them 152-140.


Our shock of the week comes from the Helmand Nighthawks hosting the Drunk Monkeys at their home Stadium, Wembley. After an earlier curtain raiser between the American Jaguars and Dolphins, the Nighthawks took the same field in the evening to dispose of the Monkeys. We have it on good authority from the BBC that several Nighthawk players were in the bar prior to the game toasting their win - before even taking the field. The Monkeys came out less inebriated that the Nighthawks and began to pile points on, The Nighthawks, recognizing that the scoreboard was displaying a loss, tried to keep pace with the Drunk Monkey scoring machine, but they just ran out of time. The Drunk Monkeys post the highest score of the week - playing a man down, and the Nighthawks just couldn't score enough points to stay with them. The biggest upset of the year so far, the Helmand Nighthawks fall at home, to the ghosting Drunk Monkeys, 174-154.


We're almost at the midway point of the season and its still no clearer than it was four weeks ago. The Black Cats hold the number 1 seed - and quite comfortably too by outscoring everyone in the league. The Taipans are even with them at 4-2 but their entire running back corp has been sidelined with injuries that the Taipans are now on their third tandem in the backfield since the start of the season. The lack of a running game for the Taipans puts them on shaky ground.


One game back at 3-3 are both the Helmand Nighthawks and the Who Dat Nation. With both teams on even keel it is expected that one of these teams will eventually defeat the Black Cats and win the division, but the longer that these two continue to take wins and losses away from each other, it shortens the length of time needed to catch the Cats.


At the tail of the field the Drunk Monkeys and the Guns of Hochuli both sit at 2-4 - but they could both easily be 5-1. Their losses have come in close games but their wins have been against the engine house of the league. The Gunners are strongly favored to outscore the Monkeys, but both teams are still in contention, and may still win their division.

Next week marks the halfway point of the season and with no real outstanding team, we have to begin looking around the for the best match up. We didn't have to look to far for next week as the Black Cats get to return home and host the Australian Taipans in the prime time game of the week. The winner of this game will have sole possession of the league while the loser could potentially drop to the fifth seed, pending the outcome of other games.


Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

They don't win a lot of these awards, but this week they become the first team to win this award twice in the season, albeit with different players. For the effort of 9 receptions for 186 yards and 2 receiving touchdowns, and rushing for 2 yards (most important) for a total of 42.10 points, the Week Six MVT goes to Cee Dee Lamb (WR) of the Drunk Monkeys.

[Gut Wrench]

THE WEEK OF LOW SCORES
...except for one team.

Week Seven in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. We are exactly halfway through the regular season and the playoff picture became murkier as we saw almost all of the league put up low ball scores this week, including the lowest winning score ever. That is of course except for one team that suddenly took flight to rise above the pack and soar into play off contention with a statement performance.

Who the hell are we talking about? We'll get to all of that right after we get through this.


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It was the Under Performance week. Low scores, hi jinx in the quarterback position, and the only bright spot was the ominous light being cast from across the pond in England. The Helmand Nighthawks returned home to Wembley Stadium and put on one of the finest dialys of scoring not seen this year, Out the gate the Nighthawks had almost 50 points on the board before the visiting Who Dat Nation ever got on the board. This was never going to a contested matter for each point that the Nation put up, the Nighthawks put up two. The Nighthawks had stellar performance from every position, that Ryan Succop (K) was the only player not to reach double digits. Conversely, the Nation started the game with two of their starting players on vacation. Rookie mistakes from Coach Fuel For Blood lead to his demise as the Who Dat Nation falls to divisional rivals the Helmand Nighthawks 225-102.

Then we have the other end of the table with the leagues lowest winning score ever. You would not dare to think that both of the Drunk Monkeys and the Guns of Hochuli were one time Torpedo Bowl Champions. The Monkeys came into this game with six (6) players on scheduled vacation, and even then, the Guns of Hochuli who themselves were playing with three (3) on vacation struggled to get the win. Nine - that's nine players who were on vacation for the one game - that's almost an entire bloody team! In the lowest winning score every recorded, the Guns of Hochuli defeated the Drunk Monkeys 55 - 40 - and there's nothing more to say about that game.

In Southern California, the Taipans were hosting the Black Cats, and while this was not as low a scoring affair as the Gunners, it was an unimpressive display of underachieving teams. the Taipans should have put the Cats away early but for Patrick Mahommes (QB) injuring his singing voice and having to be carted from the field, having only scored 3 points. With an opportunity to steal a win away - again, the Black Cats should have shredded the Taipans. It looked like Chris Goodiwn (WR) would put some respectability back in the score, but the slender lead created by the Cats wasn't really enough to hold the Taipans Deebo Samuels (WR) from securing the win. In an very unimpressive affair, the Australian Taipans get lucky and defeat the Black Cats in an under scoring game, 139 - 121.

So after the abortion of week seven allowing us to reach the half way point of the season, where do we stand. Lets go through the table and realistically look at who the contenders are, and who the wannabes are.

The Australian Taipans of Southern California lead the league at 5-2 after their defeat of the Black Cats this week. The Taipans hold a two game lead over their nearest divisional rival. The Taipans have made more wholesale changes on their team since the start of the season thanks to injuries, its hard to tell where they will end up.

One game back at 4-3 the Helmand Nighthawks have quietly put together some wins to put them back in contention. In years gone past the Nighthawks have all but owned the league by this time of the season. There are some back and forth still to be played out in the Sub Simmers division, but the Nighthakws are a team not to be ruled out. The Black Cats, divisional rivals to the Nighthawks are also 4-3 but you sense that of these two teams, the Nighthawks will eventually get the divisional record on their opponent.

Back another game again at 3-4 are the Who Dat Nation and the Guns of Hochuli. These two teams are having an uncharacteristic season of "hit and miss" and its difficult to determine if its incompetency, bad luck, or the ghost effect is creeping in. Having said that, both these teams still have enough season left to come out as the number one and two seeds respectively.

And bringing up the tail, again, are the Drunk Monkeys at 2-5. The best damm team that has ever ghosted a league, each year we ask the same question - and this year is no exception. Just how good could this team be if their Coach showed up.

Next week we go back to Texas where Coach Casey and the Guns of Hochuli will be hosting the Who Dat Nation. Both these teams only meet a couple of times a year so this game becomes pivotal should one or both these teams make a run for the league championship. Only one of them can recover and take that title, and this may be the game changing decider that does it. And we'll be there to catch all the action live.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

There are a lot of players that could have won this award this week, - and they're all on the same team. We went round and one on this one, but in the end, it was such an outstanding performance on percentage, we couldn't not give the award. For the effort of 4 sacks, 3 interceptions, 2 fumble recoveries and only allowing 3 points against , for a total of 21 points, the Week Seven MVT goes to Tampa bay (DEF) of the Helmand Nighthawks.

[Gut Wrench]

UPSETS OR EXPECTATIONS
...as we ghost towards the playoffs..

Whoa....getting back from Arrowhead tonight was murder. Come hail, rain, snow, or disruption to the transit system, we'll get our report to you.



Week Eight in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. We're heading towards the playoffs and there are two teams starting to distance themselves form the rest of the pack. One we expected to be leading the pack, but is not. The other was expected to be in the pack, but is leading. What's going on?

Find out once you get this far more important message.


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Look around the league on any given weekend during the season and you'll see a number of things - teams expected to win, teams expected to not to win, and somewhere between the two, are teams who upset the views. Such was the case with our Match of the day in Texas as the Guns of Hochuli hosted the Who Dat Nation. The Nation were clearly expected to win this one, perhaps even trounced all over the Gunners, but Coach Casey shows that when you come to Texas, everything is bigger - including the Gunners....err, Guns. The Nation started first with their potential MVP player Kyler Murray (QB) on Thursday night - who didn't have a good game, but scored some points Opposing him was the other potential MVP player, Josh Allen (QB) who came out and started the trouncing. (Trouncing: the act of being trounced.) With the nation sending two of their players on vacation this week, the nation were playing from behind the whole way. The Gunners, while they had no players off on vacation were easily able to send the Who Dat Nation packing back to Oregon handing them an unexpected L. Final score in Texas, The Guns of Hochuli defeat the Who Dat nation Rises 146 - 88.


In Southern California, the Taipans got some most welcome news with the lifting of travel restrictions to and from Australia. The Taipans currently have a lease on the Los Angeles Coliseum and may be able to return home later this year. For the time being though, they're playing at "home" in Los Angeles and welcomed the Drunk Monkeys to the cauldron for a sound beating. As we outlined at the start of the report, this was one of those games where the team expected to win did, and did so in fine form. the Drunk Monkeys, renown for being the best damm ghost team int h history of the league, had four (4) players out on vacation. Four! You can't win with half a team, you can't event compete with half a team, so the Monkeys unexpectedly fell to the hand of the Australian Taipans. Final score at the Coliseum, Australian Taipans hand the Drunk Monkeys an ass whopping 170-105.


Across the country in the Carolina's the Black Cats welcomed the Helmand Nighthawks to the fray in what is turning into a interesting battle. The Black Cats have taken some wins away from teams that were expected to win, and the Nighthawks, while on a roll, have not shown the same domination that they have held for the last few years. The Nighthawks however rolled into town and decimated the Black cats, putting paid to their loss earlier int he season. This one wasn't even close. The Helmand Nighthawks soundly defeat the Black Cats 166 - 105.


We're at the end of week eight and after a shaky start in the first three weeks, the league is starting to space themselves out and form up for the play offs.


The Australian Taipans of Southern California lead the league at 6-2 after their defeat of divisional rivals this week. The Taipans hold a two game lead over their nearest divisional rival.

One game back at 5-3 the Helmand Nighthawks who are beginning to streak back to their rightful position after a couple of unexpected losses. Their defeat of the Black cats this week puts them at the top of the division and now they have the tiebreaker evened against the Cats. The Nighthawks will probably need to defeat the Black Cats later int he season for the divisional title.



The Black Cats and the Guns of Hochuli are both at 4-4 and occupy second place in their respective divisions, with the Cats holding the tie breaker against the Gunners. The Cats have clawed their way forward, somewhat unexpectedly with a couple of surprising and unexpected wins, as they continue to ghost along.


Currently in a free fall at 3-5 are the Who Dat Nation. Coach Field for Blood's absence continues to mimics the ghost teams, and we're beginning to wonder if the Coach has abandoned his team.

And bringing up the tail, again, are the Drunk Monkeys at 2-6. The best damm team that has ever ghosted a league, each year we ask the same question - and this year is no exception. Just how good could this team be if their Coach showed up.

Next week we go back up to Oregon again where the Who Dat Nation are hosting the Australian Taipans. the nation, already, are starting as favorites for this match. The Nation can stop their free fall and get back into the hunt for the Torpedo Bowl while the Taipans are in a position to put away the Nation from contesting the #1 seed. It looks to be a solid game and we'll be there to catch all the action.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.


We have our first repeat winner for the season this week. normally the repeat winners would be a sign that the team is gong to the playoffs, but we're not quite ready to award that just yet, so we'll stay with the MVT. For the effort of 249 yards and 2 touchdowns, and rushing for 55 yards and 1 touchdown , for a total of 33.46 points, the Week Eight MVT goes to Josh Allen (QB) of the Guns of Hochuli.

[Gut Wrench]

CATS/MONKEYS WIN
Nighthawks and Nation soundly beaten.

Last week we were talking about upsets and expectations. The week before that we were talking about low scores. Don't look now both those headlines collided this week in Carolina and at Wembley Stadium, England, where two of our power house teams got their assess handed to them

And two more teams get another ghost win

Standby as we go around the grounds to give you the best fake coverage on the best fake league being covered by the only fake news you need in your life.


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Let take a look at the brutal assault that took place this weekend in England. Fans around the world were left agape when the Drunk Monkeys swung into town to meet the Nighthawks for the second time in three weeks. From the first whistle, it was clear that the Monkeys had come to steal their second win from the Nighthawks machinery. The Monkeys were playing the game a man down with Calvin Ridley (WR) still out. Johnathon Taylor (RB) picked up the missing scores as he ran roughshod through the Nighthawks Defense (Dallas). The Nighthawks were not helped by the performance of Joe Burrow (QB) for a career low of 6 points - but, he was not only the only quarterback this weekend who failed to earn their money. The Nighthawks valiant effort to stay in the game became a statisticians nightmare as they continued to under perform across all fields. The Drunk Monkeys showed that their win two weeks ago was no fluke, and backed it again to support them as the "best damm ghost team in the league." In a shock upset win, the Drunk Monkeys keep the Helmand Nighthawks in the loss column. 117 - 100.


Our match of the day was up in Eugene, Oregon where Coach Fuel For Blood and the Who Dat Nation Rises have been almost unbeatable at home. Almost. And not this weekend. the Taipans came into town with a one game lead on the league, already aware that Johnathon Taylor (RB) had put points ont he board earlier leaving the #2 team, the Helmand Nighthakws, in a precarious scoring situation. The Taipans became the second (and third if you count their bench) QB to have a dismal day with Matthew Stafford (QB) throwing for just 14 points, less than half of his predicted total. The Taipans score looked susceptible, right up until the moment that the Nation's star Kyler Murray (QB) was ruled out of the game, just minutes before the start. No, he wasn't a patient at the Aaron Rodgers School of Pharmacology, he had a minor sprain warming up chugging a beer the morning of the game. Gotta watch those large cans. Australian Taipans slither out of town with the win having defeated the Who Dat Nation 148 - 85.

Our final game of the week was such a shocker, that the television networks cancelled the coverage prior to the kick off upon learning that the game would be played with four (4) players apiece missing form each team. What? What sort of a coach would start a team four players down and expect to come away with a win? Coach FYC of the Black Cats clearly thought that they could because thy racked up just enough points to get the W, against one of the lowest scored we've seen in many years ( or at least three weeks) The Black cats defeat the Guns of Hochuli in a low scoring sub par game, 90 - 65. Oh what is going on?

The upsets win has thrown the league into turmoil, and it starts at the top of the ladder.

The Taipans hold a two game lead over the league but they have to travel next week. Battling for the second position in the league are divisional rivals the Black Cats and the Helmand Nighthawks. The Nighthawks hold the divisional tie breaker between the two, but both teams have one win and one loss against each other.

Behind them the Gunners and the Drunk Monkeys occupy the fourth and fifth seeds, but the real story is that following their loss, the Who Dat Nation has moved into the wooden spoon position with the worst league in the record of 3-5. Now, that record could change in a heartbeat based upon the historical moves that Coach Fuel For Blood has made, and as soon as he shows up this year, we expect that team to climb the ladder.

Next week we go back across the Atlantic where the Helmand Nighthawks stay home and welcome the Australian Taipans. the Taipans lead the league but the Nighthawks have been the dominating force between these two, most recently in last years Torpedo Bowl. The Taipans can put away some of the league with a win while the Nighthawks need the win to get back in front of their divisional rivals. The Nighthawks do not want to go on the road in the playoffs against a ghost team.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance. Hard to believe that this week will be the third award for this team, this year.

For the effort of 172 rushing yards yards and 2 touchdowns, and 2 receptions for 28 yards, for a total of 40.00 points, the Week Nine MVT goes to Johnathon Taylor (RB) of the Drunk Monkeys.