The joke thread II - Page 340

Catfish · 02-28-24, 03:44 PM

Three prisoners in a russian jail have a talk:

"What are you in for?"
"I shamed and insulted the war criminal, Girkin."
"And you?"
"I publicly supported the hero of Russia, Girkin."
"And you?"
"Me? I am Girkin."

Platapus · 02-28-24, 04:54 PM

When I went to the dentist, I told him that I did not have a lot of money

So he gave me buck teeth

Jimbuna · 02-29-24, 08:35 AM

The girls in my local strip club are so good with computers they do lap top dancing.

Platapus · 02-29-24, 03:05 PM

Bedbugs are found in beds

Fruit flies are found in fruit

Cockroaches......nevermind

Eisenwurst · 03-01-24, 07:09 AM

20 mins long, but by golly it's good.

Jimbuna · 03-01-24, 12:34 PM

Did you hear about the 2 gay men that got into a fight in a bar? They were ejected for exchanging blows.

Platapus · 03-01-24, 04:23 PM

I like to spend my weekends playing chess with old men in the park.

It’s not easy. You try finding sixteen white and sixteen black old guys.

Jimbuna · 03-02-24, 07:32 AM

My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from local zoo.

Jimbuna · 03-03-24, 01:44 PM

What's the difference between a man and a woman? Don't think dirty! Only "wo".

Jimbuna · 03-04-24, 01:39 PM

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Yell at her.

Platapus · 03-04-24, 04:02 PM

I wasn’t close to my father when he died.

Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.

Jimbuna · 03-05-24, 09:27 AM

I must have a nice butt, because, everytime I'm walking away from talking to someone they say "What an ass?"

Platapus · 03-06-24, 08:25 AM

A man and a little boy are walking through the woods one night. The boy turns to the man and says:

“Mister, I’m scared.”

“You’re scared?” replies the man. “I’m the one who’s gonna have to walk all the way back to the car by myself.”

Jimbuna · 03-06-24, 12:12 PM

Hey, I'm not saying Hitler was a great guy, but he really saved the Histoy channel.

Jimbuna · 03-07-24, 02:39 PM

The police arrested me for killing and raping a girl. My defense? This corpse has been a virgin her whole life!

02-28-24, 03:44 PM	#5086
Catfish Dipped Squirrel Operative Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: ..where the ocean meets the sky Posts: 16,897 Downloads: 38 Uploads: 0	Three prisoners in a russian jail have a talk: "What are you in for?" "I shamed and insulted the war criminal, Girkin." "And you?" "I publicly supported the hero of Russia, Girkin." "And you?" "Me? I am Girkin." __________________ >^..^<*)))>{ All generalizations are wrong.

02-28-24, 04:54 PM	#5087
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,951 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	When I went to the dentist, I told him that I did not have a lot of money So he gave me buck teeth __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

02-29-24, 08:35 AM	#5088
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	The girls in my local strip club are so good with computers they do lap top dancing. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-29-24, 03:05 PM	#5089
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,951 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Bedbugs are found in beds Fruit flies are found in fruit Cockroaches......nevermind __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

03-01-24, 07:09 AM	#5090
Eisenwurst Silent Hunter Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 3,603 Downloads: 58 Uploads: 0	20 mins long, but by golly it's good. __________________

03-01-24, 12:34 PM	#5091
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Did you hear about the 2 gay men that got into a fight in a bar? They were ejected for exchanging blows. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-01-24, 04:23 PM	#5092
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,951 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I like to spend my weekends playing chess with old men in the park. It’s not easy. You try finding sixteen white and sixteen black old guys. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

03-02-24, 07:32 AM	#5093
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from local zoo. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-03-24, 01:44 PM	#5094
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What's the difference between a man and a woman? Don't think dirty! Only "wo". __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-04-24, 01:39 PM	#5095
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Yell at her. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-04-24, 04:02 PM	#5096
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,951 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I wasn’t close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

03-05-24, 09:27 AM	#5097
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I must have a nice butt, because, everytime I'm walking away from talking to someone they say "What an ass?" __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-06-24, 08:25 AM	#5098
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,951 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	A man and a little boy are walking through the woods one night. The boy turns to the man and says: “Mister, I’m scared.” “You’re scared?” replies the man. “I’m the one who’s gonna have to walk all the way back to the car by myself.” __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

03-06-24, 12:12 PM	#5099
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Hey, I'm not saying Hitler was a great guy, but he really saved the Histoy channel. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-07-24, 02:39 PM	#5100
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	The police arrested me for killing and raping a girl. My defense? This corpse has been a virgin her whole life! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)