The joke thread II - Page 300

Jimbuna · 07-26-23, 04:06 AM

Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.

Jimbuna · 07-26-23, 04:46 AM

Where are average things manufactured?
The satisfactory.

Platapus · 07-26-23, 05:17 PM

I caught my son chewing on an extension cord

I felt it necessary to ground him.

He did not resist.

He promised me that in the future that he would conduct himself properly.

He is doing well, currently

Jimbuna · 07-27-23, 04:24 AM

What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.

Jimbuna · 07-27-23, 01:03 PM

What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare-line.

Jimbuna · 07-28-23, 03:10 AM

What’s the different between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

Jimbuna · 07-28-23, 08:18 AM

Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?
It’s two gross.

Platapus · 07-28-23, 03:30 PM

I just got fired from my job as a bank teller

A lady came in and asked to check her balance

So I gave her a little push.....

Jimbuna · 07-29-23, 04:40 AM

What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller?
“Curses! Foiled again!”

Jimbuna · 07-29-23, 09:31 AM

What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?
Thanks— I’ll never part with it!

Platapus · 07-29-23, 01:24 PM

A street near Buckingham Palace is being renamed to “Prince Andrew’s Close.”
It’s not honorary, it’s a warning.

Jimbuna · 07-29-23, 02:10 PM

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
Make me one with everything.

Eisenwurst · 07-29-23, 07:37 PM

What did Skippy say when Sonny fell off the cliff?

"Tut tut tut...."

Jimbuna · 07-30-23, 04:39 AM

How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.

Jimbuna · 07-30-23, 07:34 AM

What do you call a pony with a cough?
A little horse.

07-26-23, 04:06 AM	#4486
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-26-23, 04:46 AM	#4487
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Where are average things manufactured? The satisfactory. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-26-23, 05:17 PM	#4488
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,951 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I caught my son chewing on an extension cord I felt it necessary to ground him. He did not resist. He promised me that in the future that he would conduct himself properly. He is doing well, currently __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

07-27-23, 04:24 AM	#4489
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches? A nervous wreck. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-27-23, 01:03 PM	#4490
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare-line. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-28-23, 03:10 AM	#4491
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What’s the different between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-28-23, 08:18 AM	#4492
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Why should the number 288 never be mentioned? It’s two gross. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-28-23, 03:30 PM	#4493
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,951 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I just got fired from my job as a bank teller A lady came in and asked to check her balance So I gave her a little push..... __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

07-29-23, 04:40 AM	#4494
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller? “Curses! Foiled again!” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-29-23, 09:31 AM	#4495
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present? Thanks— I’ll never part with it! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-29-23, 01:24 PM	#4496
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,951 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	A street near Buckingham Palace is being renamed to “Prince Andrew’s Close.” It’s not honorary, it’s a warning. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

07-29-23, 02:10 PM	#4497
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-29-23, 07:37 PM	#4498
Eisenwurst Silent Hunter Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 3,606 Downloads: 58 Uploads: 0	What did Skippy say when Sonny fell off the cliff? "Tut tut tut...." __________________

07-30-23, 04:39 AM	#4499
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-30-23, 07:34 AM	#4500
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What do you call a pony with a cough? A little horse. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)