The joke thread II - Page 289

Admiral8Q · 05-21-23, 12:30 AM

I was at the supermarket and paying for my small purchase in cash.
The total was $4.25
So, I put down a five dollar bill, then a quarter (25 cents).
The cashier said, "That's more than what it costs."
Me, "I know, but you can just give me a dollar in change."
Cashier, "I'll have to check with my manager.""
Me, thinking, 'seriously?'. Anyways the manager finally arrived and said,
"We cannot accept that. The cash register must accept exact amounts." He gave me my quarter back and 3 other quarters in change.
Me, "Riiiiight. Cheerio, dummies."

Jimbuna · 05-21-23, 04:09 AM

Yo mama is so fat that she causes traffic jams when she goes out walking.

Jimbuna · 05-21-23, 10:52 AM

Yo mama is so fat she doesn’t get a sun tan she gets crackling.

Jimbuna · 05-22-23, 06:16 AM

Yo mama is so stupid, she tripped over a wireless phone.

Jimbuna · 05-22-23, 06:34 AM

Yo mum’s so fat that when she steped on the scales it said 1 at a time please

Jimbuna · 05-23-23, 06:46 AM

Pizza Hut has made an official complaint to Buckingham Palace for waisting staff time. Apparantly the Queen and her friend Maya Buttreeks ordered twenty ‘Hot 12″ Mexicans’ but refused to pay on delivery!

Jimbuna · 05-23-23, 06:55 AM

Q. What do you do if your wife comes crawling back?

A. Drag her back into the garden and make sure you dig the hole deeper.

Platapus · 05-23-23, 03:11 PM

There was one time when a woman decided what to have for dinner

The result was that both of them were kicked out of a garden.

Jus' sayin'

Jimbuna · 05-24-23, 05:27 AM

Q:What do you do if your wife keeps moaning at you?

A:Put the phone down and order another drink from the bar.

Jimbuna · 05-24-23, 05:38 AM

Yo mama is so fat when she walked in front of the TV I missed 3 episodes.

Jimbuna · 05-25-23, 03:54 AM

Yo mama has one eye and one leg, her name is eyelean.

Jimbuna · 05-26-23, 05:48 AM

Yo mama is so fat when she took her pants to the dry cleaners they said “sorry we don’t do curtains”

Jimbuna · 05-26-23, 05:57 AM

Yo mama is so fat that she has to change the light bulb in her fridge every month.

Jimbuna · 05-27-23, 03:23 AM

Knock knock.
whose there?
“Doorbell repair man“

Jimbuna · 05-27-23, 03:35 AM

What do you call a guy who can swim without using his arms and legs?

Clever dick.

05-21-23, 12:30 AM	#4321
Admiral8Q Ace of the Deep Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Prince Edward Island, Canada Posts: 1,080 Downloads: 24 Uploads: 0	I was at the supermarket and paying for my small purchase in cash. The total was $4.25 So, I put down a five dollar bill, then a quarter (25 cents). The cashier said, "That's more than what it costs." Me, "I know, but you can just give me a dollar in change." Cashier, "I'll have to check with my manager."" Me, thinking, 'seriously?'. Anyways the manager finally arrived and said, "We cannot accept that. The cash register must accept exact amounts." He gave me my quarter back and 3 other quarters in change. Me, "Riiiiight. Cheerio, dummies." __________________

05-21-23, 04:09 AM	#4322
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Yo mama is so fat that she causes traffic jams when she goes out walking. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-21-23, 10:52 AM	#4323
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Yo mama is so fat she doesn’t get a sun tan she gets crackling. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-22-23, 06:16 AM	#4324
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Yo mama is so stupid, she tripped over a wireless phone. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-22-23, 06:34 AM	#4325
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Yo mum’s so fat that when she steped on the scales it said 1 at a time please __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-23-23, 06:46 AM	#4326
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Pizza Hut has made an official complaint to Buckingham Palace for waisting staff time. Apparantly the Queen and her friend Maya Buttreeks ordered twenty ‘Hot 12″ Mexicans’ but refused to pay on delivery! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-23-23, 06:55 AM	#4327
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Q. What do you do if your wife comes crawling back? A. Drag her back into the garden and make sure you dig the hole deeper. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-23-23, 03:11 PM	#4328
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,951 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	There was one time when a woman decided what to have for dinner The result was that both of them were kicked out of a garden. Jus' sayin' __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

05-24-23, 05:27 AM	#4329
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Q:What do you do if your wife keeps moaning at you? A:Put the phone down and order another drink from the bar. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-24-23, 05:38 AM	#4330
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Yo mama is so fat when she walked in front of the TV I missed 3 episodes. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-25-23, 03:54 AM	#4331
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Yo mama has one eye and one leg, her name is eyelean. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-26-23, 05:48 AM	#4332
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Yo mama is so fat when she took her pants to the dry cleaners they said “sorry we don’t do curtains” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-26-23, 05:57 AM	#4333
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Yo mama is so fat that she has to change the light bulb in her fridge every month. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-27-23, 03:23 AM	#4334
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Knock knock. whose there? “Doorbell repair man“ __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-27-23, 03:35 AM	#4335
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What do you call a guy who can swim without using his arms and legs? Clever dick. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)