The joke thread II - Page 349

Platapus · 04-30-24, 03:21 PM

How do you get an astronaut’s baby to stop crying?

You rocket.

Jimbuna · 05-01-24, 09:23 AM

From an article about a hotel renovation in the Reno Gazette-Journal: “The downstairs, which will be connected to the upstairs by a spiral staircase, will have more meeting space plus food and beverage fatalities.”

Platapus · 05-01-24, 03:01 PM

What sounds like a sneeze and is made of leather?

A shoe.

Jimbuna · 05-02-24, 12:27 PM

A Stanford University professor took his young son with him on a trip across the country. One day after their return, a package was delivered with postage due. Neither the professor nor his wife had the necessary $3, but their son produced it. Surprised, his mother asked how he came to have that much money.

“Well,” he said, “Dad was awfully careless with money on our trip and nearly always left some on the table when we ate. So I just picked it up.”

Platapus · 05-02-24, 03:04 PM

Did you hear the one about the claustrophobic astronaut?

He just needed a little space.

Jimbuna · 05-03-24, 07:36 AM

The editor of a Vermont weekly sent to one Hiram Sparks a notice that his subscription had expired. The notice came back with the laconic scrawl: “So’s Hiram.”

04-30-24, 03:21 PM	#5221
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,965 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	How do you get an astronaut’s baby to stop crying? You rocket. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

05-01-24, 09:23 AM	#5222
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	From an article about a hotel renovation in the Reno Gazette-Journal: “The downstairs, which will be connected to the upstairs by a spiral staircase, will have more meeting space plus food and beverage fatalities.” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-01-24, 03:01 PM	#5223
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,965 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	What sounds like a sneeze and is made of leather? A shoe. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

05-02-24, 12:27 PM	#5224
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	A Stanford University professor took his young son with him on a trip across the country. One day after their return, a package was delivered with postage due. Neither the professor nor his wife had the necessary $3, but their son produced it. Surprised, his mother asked how he came to have that much money. “Well,” he said, “Dad was awfully careless with money on our trip and nearly always left some on the table when we ate. So I just picked it up.” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-02-24, 03:04 PM	#5225
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,965 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Did you hear the one about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

05-03-24, 07:36 AM	#5226
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	The editor of a Vermont weekly sent to one Hiram Sparks a notice that his subscription had expired. The notice came back with the laconic scrawl: “So’s Hiram.” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)