2016 Subsim Fantasy Football Reports

[Gut Wrench]

HALLOWEEN THRILLER IN OREGON
Despite a Week of Mistakes

Week 9 in the Subsim Fantasy Football League, and the ghost and ghouls of Halloween came out to play at all the games this week in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. The evil curse, the haunting score, all the dread of the dead captured in one weekly bullentin for you.

Isn't it just awesome that you can come to one place and get all the important news?

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First game of the week was the Helmand Nighthawks hosting the Australian Taipans. In a block buster two game appearance in London this weekend, the curtain raiser resulted in a tie and while the home teams were looking like a win, the visitors came home strong. Nighthawks started outstandingly with Jordan Reed (TE) setting the team up for a big weekend with an individual score of 24 points. The RB's of the Nighthawks, David Johnson and Ezekial Elliott carried the workload for the Nighthawks, but it was the WR trio of Emmanuel Sanders, Doug Baldwin and Brandon Marshall who caught plenty of passes but just couldn't find the end zone. Having left the door open, the Taipans were in desperate need of a win (in addition to 5 other games they should have won). Coach Pioneer put the ball in the hand of Aaron Rodgers (QB) who just carved away at the Nighthawks lead with an individual effort of 4 touchdowns. That wasn't the biggest QB score of the weekend, but it was enough to put the Taipans in front. Taipans get one back and defeat the Nighthawks 135 - 107.

Back on home soil, the Drunk Monkeys were hosting the Black Cats. Did Coach Gargamel forget that he wasn't playing this week? Garagamel started the game with no listed running backs, giving Levon Bell and Eddie Lacy the week off. Apparently he was relying on the effort of the Broncos (DEF) to come through and while they scored 22, points, it was never going to be enough. Black Cats also suffered by starting Randall Cobb (currently running for President) Coach FYC owes his QB a hefty bonus for getting the Cats one of the easiest wins this year. Black Cats scratch out another win 133 - 99 against the Drunk Monkeys.

Isn't there a song that says "Are you ready for some Monday night football?"

Well the Guns of Hochuli were ready and the Who Dat Nation, well, they were almost ready. The Nation QB Drew Brees arrived and although he outperformed the Gunners QB (Matthew Stafford) the Gunners did the damage with their defense. Gunners started Sahawks (DEF) who put up a modest 10 points, but the Nation has the Minnesota Vikings (DEF) sitting in their back pocket for Monday night. All they had to do was keep Guns of Hoculi Alshon Jeffery (WR) out of the end zone. For seven weeks Jeffrey (WR) hasn't even looked like he was going to produce...until tonight. Late in the third quarter Monday night Jeffrey (WR) crossed for a TB not only scoring 7 points, but taking 7 points off the board for the Who Dat Nation. With just a 1.7 point lead, the Nation crawled back with a sack (DEF) but the Guns of Hoculi were not to be denied. One more pass to Jeffrey (WR) and a few yards put the game out of reach even for the Who Dat Nation Vikings (DEF). Gunners thief one late on Halloween Night 139.2 - 136.

This week really cleared up some of the mess in the Subsim Torpedo League. Let's start with the Sub Simmers Division. The Guns of Hochuli sit at 7-1 and 4-0 within their division. The Drunk Monkeys are four games back at 3-5, but, they are only 1-2 within the division. The Guns of Hochuli look to be the first team into the play offs as they sit one win short against a divisional opponent from securing a play off berth. Former Torpedo League Champions, the Who Dat Nation, at 2-6 are only 0-3 with the division, and are facing the possibility of mathematically being eliminated from the Divisional Title, and having to fight their way into the Championship the hard way.

Over in the Surface Skimmers Division, it's a little harder to dissect. (Doesn't it seem that this is always the harder division to win?) Black Cats sit atop the division at 5-3 after being handed an easy win, but are 2-1 within the division, a key point. The Helmand Nighthawks at 4-4 are not only 50% within the league, but also 2-2 within the division. Their loss this week to the Taipans keeps the Divisional Title alive as the Taipans get their first divisional win. The Nighthawks hand the Divisional lead back to the Black Cats, but at 3-5 and a half game back of the Nighthawks, the Taipans can leap up to 4th in the league.

Next week, get a second appearance by the Guns of Hoculi as they host the Helmand Nighthawks. Las Vegas still has these two teams as the Championship game but if the Nightahwks want to have any credibility, they have to defeat the Gunners at home. Having dropped a game this week, the Nighthawks come in as the #3 seed looking to get back in the hunt, before one of the fringe teams eliminates Mister Chris' men.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For the effort of 513 yards, (that's half a mile!) and 4 touchdowns, for a total of 48.82 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Derek Carr of the Black Cats the Week Eight MVT.

[Gut Wrench]

GUNNERS CLINCH PLAY OFF BERTH
Can anyone stop them?

Week 9 in the Subsim Fantasy Football League, and it's the business end of the season. Positions are harder to get back, wins are harder, play off spots are less and less, unless you're the Guns of Hoculi and secure the first play off position of the year.

There is a lot to get through tonight, and none more important than a last reminder that for the past eight years, we've been building towards the historic day tomorrow.

VOTE FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE FOR BEST OF SUBSIM, AND WE'LL GIVE YOU A NEW PRESIDENT.

The problem with the Australian Taipans being based out of the USA is that their Coach is operating in a different timezone. Choosing a QB becomes a dilemma when you don't submit your starting team to the Program Producers. Taipans struggled to get the right QB in eventually settling for Aaron Rodgers. Not that they needed it anyway. The Drunk Monkeys apparently couldn't afford to fly the entire team out so they just sent a couple of starters. Taipans decimate the Monkeys 167 - 93.

Who cares? Hold the phone folks, there's something circling here, it may not be safe to go in the waters yet.

Our Match of the Day this week was the Guns of Hochuli hosting the Helmand Highthawks. Hosting? They fried those birds. Nighthawks flew into an unseasonably hot day and got their feathers BBQ-ed. Nighthawks were let down by their receiving corps of Emmanuel Sanders (WR) Dez Bryant (WR) and Gary Bamidge (TE) who caught very few passes and absolutely no TD's. The Nighthawks were lucky that on Monday night Russell Wilson (QB) and Doug Daldwin (WR) put some respectability back into the score or they might have suffered a record 100 point defeat. Nighthawks are going to have do better (and at least show up) if they want to have a shot at the Gunners. Guns of Hochuli take this one easily 167-109.

Gunners victory leaves blood in the water.

Down in Carolina, nothing could be finer than a Who Dat Nation victory in the morning. A battle of the two most recent Torpedo Bowl Champions, the Nighthawks were facing a "do or die" situation. Sitting at the bottom of the ladder, they were approaching elimination from the Championship series if results went one way. But, they didn't, and in fact, the results couldn't be any more prosperous for the Nation than if they had fixed the results themselves. (We'll leave that for tomorrow. ) Black Cats brought their game but it was the aerial assault of Drew Brees (QB) passing again for over 300 yards which hurt the Cats. Nation fans bellowed as Melvin Gordon carved through the Panthers (DEF) of the Cats, but it was Monday night that really put this game away as Jimmy Graham (TE) finally made a welcome return to the highlight reel. Who Dat Nation finally shows up and topple the Black Cats 176 - 129.

Now, onto the really interesting stuff. Get out your mathematical equations, this is going to be good.

Guns of Hochuli are the first team to clinch a play off berth. Gunners record of 8-1 includes a 4-0 divisional record. The Guns of Hochuli need one more win to clinch the divisional title. The loss by the Drunk Monkeys drop them to five games in arrears, and into a tie with the Who Dat Nation at 3-6. However, even though the Monkeys have scored less points that the Nation, the Drunk Monkeys and their three game losing streak still have them at 1-2 within the division, a game ahead of the Nation. Both the Drunk Monkeys and the Who Dat Nation can still win the division, but the Guns of Hochuli need to loose every game, and both the Monkeys and the Nation need help.

They can only get the help from an unlikely ally in the Surface Skimmers Division.

Black Cats loss drops them to 5-4 but they still lead the division by one game. The real feud though is going on behind them as the loss by the Helmand Nighthawks and the win by Australian Taipans level them out at 4-5 each, just one game behind the Cats. After having grabbed the divisional lead a few weeks back, the Cats are facing the prospect that their next loss, could drop them from Divisional Champions, to completely out of the play off picture. There's no doubt that in the next few weeks this division is going to take wins away from each other, so each of these three teams needs to make the most when they play inter divisional opponents.

And that's exactly where we'll be going next week when the Australian Taipans ask the Guns of Hochuli to make the long trek to the Great Southern land. The two top scoring teams in the league face off with some large stakes on the line. A win by the Gunners clinches the Surface Skimmers Division. A win by the Taipans keeps the Surface Skimmers Divisional Title barely alive, but more importantly, draws them level with the Black Cats.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For the effort of 8 receptions for 103 yards and 2 touchdowns, for a total of 36.3 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Jimmy Graham of the Who Dat Nation the Week Nine MVT.

[Gut Wrench]

GUNNERS CLINCH CHAMPIONSHIP BERTH
Can anyone stop them?

Week 10 in the Subsim Fantasy Football League, and there's only one team that looks like it can dominate everyone, including the only team able to keep up scoring with them.

Except of course that other team that put up over 200 points this week. Who is that foreign team that shows that they can play with the domestic teams?

We'll get to all those important burning questions, as, once again, we go around the grounds in our weekly review of the most important league in the world....right after this very important message.


VOTE FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE FOR BEST OF SUBSIM.

I have no idea what the Drunk Monkeys are doing, One week they're not here winning games and getting to .500%, the next week they show up repenting their losses, only to not show up again. Coach Gargamnel decided not to show up this week and got scratched out by Coach FYC and the Black Cats Cats started their usual QB Cam Newton, while the Monkeys started their exceptionally invisible QB, Andrew Luck. No such luck here as the Cats strolled through the Drunk Monkeys. Monkeys put up a respectable score to be within 34 points, points they might have gotten has they remembered to change their QB and RB. Black Cats get handed yet another easy win defeating the Drunk Monkeys 151 - 117.

And speaking of easy wins, how about that Match of the Day with the Taipans hosting the Guns of Hochuli. Coach Casey lead his team to become the first into the play off, in back to back years, as the Gunners made the long trek south to cut the Taipans. Taipans and Gunners to this game had been the highest scoring teams in the league, however, the this was no contest despite being close after Thursday night. Gunners simply scored too many touchdowns (isn't that always the way) as they put another W in their column blowing out the Taipans 183 - 138.

Is there anyone that can stop the Gunners? Is there anyone who can stay at the scoring pace of the Guns of Hochuli. Ladies and the Gentlemen, the revived Helmand Nighthawks.

Nighthawks hosted the Who Dat Nation this week in Cardiff Arms Park, Wales, cause having two international venues just wasn't enough for the Commissioner this year. The nation flew in with the knowledge that a loss would potentially drop them to last on the ladder, and more importantly, eliminate at least one of the play off berths. Who Dat Nation started well with some fast scoring movement down the field. QB Drew Brees connected with WR Antonio Brown for one TD and a second to WR Brandin Cooks to set the Nation up with one of the better scores this year. But hold the phone governor, the Nighthawks came out and just belted the Nation out of the stadium. Russell Wilson (QB) connected with Doug Baldwin for three TD's, while the Nighthawks running backs just tore through the heart of the Nation defensive line. Mister Chris and the Nighthawks make a bold statement that while they may be have been middle of the field for the first half of the season, their back end half has started with blow out. Helmand Nighthawks send the Who Dat Nation away beadless, 211 - 170.

That's the easy part, now comes the dissection as we try to work out what the play offs will look like.

The win by the Guns of Hochuli and the losses by both the Who Dat Nation and the Drunk Monkeys give the give the Guns of Hochuli the divisional title, and assure them of either the #1 or the #2 play off seed. The losses by the Drunk Monkeys and the Who Dat Nation drop them both to last in the league, both teams at 3 - 7. The Nation holds the wooden sppon having not won a divisional game yet. The Monkeys and the Who Dat Nation possibility of a Championship berth depends entirely on the Surface Skimmers Division.

The win by the Black Cats on the non existent opposition elevates the Cats to 6 - 4. The Helmand Nighthawks keep pace with their monster win but are still one game in arrears at 5 - 5. The Taipans loss drops them back to 4 - 6. This division doesn't have any of these three teams taking an ownership yet, and statistically, is still up for grabs. In a unique situation, The Black Cats look the most volatile based on the scoring of the teams. The Cats have scored the least number of points, and likewise had less points scored against them. The Nighthawks have scored more points than the Nighthawks, and have also had significantly more points scored against them. Finally, the Taipans have scored even more points than the Nighthawks and the Cats, but, as we have chronicled, have had significantly more points scored against them this year. If the Nighthawks and the Taipans can get a break, this division could go into a three way. Too close to call.

So with all that action, where are we going for next weeks Match of the Day. To the bottom of the ladder in Oregon for the Who Dat Nation hosting the Drunk Monkeys. The Nation are yet to win a divisional game and must win next week to have any hope of making the play offs. The Drunk Monkeys on the other hand can still make the playoffs as the #3 seed, and what appears to be the easier path into the Championship and avoiding the Guns of Hochuli, - but they must show up next week.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For the effort of 8 receptions for 114 yards with 2 rushing touchdowns, and 2 receptions for 95 yards with one touchdown , for a total of 46.90 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Ezekiel Elliot of the Helmand Nighthawks the Week Ten MVT.

[Gut Wrench]

GUNNERS FLINCH
Here Come All the Surface Skimmers?

Week 11 in the Subsim Fantasy Football League, and a week after we thought that there's only one team that can dominate everyone, we find that fall from grace leaves two divisional titles open.

We'll find out what happened in the middle of our second week of international games, when one teams was "shaken, not stirred" and we'll talk about the yet again missing coach and what the season could have been had they shown up.

But before we do any of that, let's just put this out there. You can't win it without a nomination.


NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE FOR BEST OF SUBSIM.

Our Match of the Day was the Who Dat Nation hosting the Drunk Monkeys. Coach Gargamel and half of his team missed the plane flight out and started the game short a WR, a RB and a DEF. They had them, they were sitting on the bench drinking generic colored flavored water as the Who Dat Nation gets one of the easiest wins of the year. It's not that the Nation didn't score, but it was apparent on Sunday, everyone will want to play the Monkeys going forward. Who Dat Nation stay in the mathematical hunt to the Championship Division, 127 - 105 but they had some help.

In the biggest surprise blow out of the year so far, the Helmand Nighthawks proved that their 200+ points last week was no accident as they put another 170+ points on the scoreboard again. In just two weeks, the Nighthawks have distanced themselves from the bottom of the ladder to become one of the four highest scoring teams in the league. Until last week, the Nighthawks were on the outside but have shown a right royal British thumping of their opponents, including this week, the league leading Guns of Hochuli. The Gunners are on easy street needing just one win to secure the #1 berth in the Championship for the second year in a row. Gunners playing at home must have been caught up in some of that wild weather the States saw as they struggled to convert within the Red Zone. Gunners only had one TD from the entire team with Demarco Murray (RB). Nighthawks just decimated the Guns of Hochuli 171 - 95. The faltering of the Gunners opens the door for the other teams within the Sub Simmers Division, if, there was a favorable result in New Zealand.

New Zealand? Yes, the Australian Taipans were hosting the second of the Foreign Expansion Games at Eden Park, Auckland. Despite being late Spring, the conditions were frigid, but things got warmed up when near the end of the first quarter, a 4.5 earthquake struck the area. The lights briefly went out during a Tapians 3rd and 24 on their own 2 yard line, only to find themselves 1st and Goal when the lights came back on. The Black Cats, who had lead to this point, couldn't even get on site before the next play, and the Taipans just ran away with the game. Final score Taipans 142 Black Cats 92.

So after 11 weeks and before we get into the longest football week of the year, there were some results this week that change the entire complexion of the league.

#1 Guns of Hochuli. Gunners have clinched a Championship berth and are trying to wrap up the top seed. The loss by the Gunners doesn't confirm their top seeding. Gunners at 9-2 will need at least one more week before they can rest their starters.

#2 Helmand Nighthawks. The win by the Nighthawks elevate them to 6-5 in the division. On the count back they are also 2-2 within the division, but they steal the #2 seeding with their dominating scoring of the last two weeks. However, their hold on the division is at best, precarious.

#3 Black Cats. In the same division as the Nighthawks, the Cats loose their tie breaker on the second element and drop to the # 3 seed. However, their hold on the division is equally precarious at 6-5 because their biggest threat is just half a game behind them.

#4 At 5-6, but also 2-2 within the division, the Australian Taipans dominance of scoring this season has slowed. Taipans currently occupy the "cut off line" with compatible points score for and points scored against.

#5 the Who Dat Nation sit just outside the Championship bracket, but, are still in a position to secure the #3 seeding. While the three teams in the Surface Skimmers Division battle each other of the remaining weeks, the Nations just have to put a couple of wins together and wait for the dominoes to fall to find themselves in the easier path to the Torpedo Bowl.

#6 As bad as they are, and poorly if they show up, the Drunk Monkeys at 3-8 could be so much better off had their Coach showed. They run just out of the Championship bracket but can still make it - if they show up. In fact, they could probably play spoiler over the entire Surface Skimmers Division and cause the biggest upset by being the third team from the Surface Skimmers Division in the Championship bracket. And we're heading into Week 11 and they can still come back?

So now we have to look at match ups for next week and flex in the correct game. It's no contest as we go back to Carolina to watch the Black cats host the Helmand Nighthawks. The winner of this game will take over outright ownership of the division and the crucial divisional count back. The loser could drop as far back as 4th and be in danger of missing the Championship all together. It promises to be one of the wildest weeks in the longest weeks of football.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For the effort of 15 passing yards for one touchdown, and 4 receptions for 104 yards, for a total of 27 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Wide Receiver Doug Daldwin of the Helmand Nighthawks the Week Eleven MVT.

[Gut Wrench]

GUNNERS CLINCH #1
Home Field Advantage Is Secured

Week 12 in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. The longest week of the year, and apparently that is replicated by the longest faces of some coaches this week. We'll tell you about the Gunners plans as they host the Championship Series, we'll tell you about one team who will be in the Championship series, and we'll tell you about one who won't be in the Championship Series.

All this and more, right after this very important announcement.


NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE FOR BEST OF SUBSIM.

Let's start with the easiest to report game of the week. Our league leading Guns of Hochuli traveled to the Drunk Monkeys home field where they had a record attendance of 16. The packed crowd waited as the Gunners took the field looking to secure home field advantage throughout the post season. Once again, the Monkeys failed to show up with a complete team, and that contributed in part to the Guns of Hochuli steamrolling the Monkeys with both their starters and back ups. Though they could have choose to rest everyone except the water boys, Gunners showed they they want this years Torpedo Bowl by rolling out another massive score of 180 points. Drunk Monkeys were lucky to make it to 80 points, as they fall to 3-9. With the win, the Guns of Hochuli rise to 10 - 2 with two weeks left in the season, clinch the #1 seeding, for the second year in a row. Congratulations Guns of Hochuli.

Our Match of the Day was the Black Cats hosting the Helmand Nighthawks. Both teams were competing for the top tier in the division with another team right behind them. While the victor of this match wasn't yet assured a play off berth, a win to either team would give them the divisional tie breaker if it was needed. This was going to be a turning point for the year. Thanksgiving Day, Jordan Reed (TE) Dez Bryant (WR) and Ezekiel Elliott (RB) ran out and quickly mounted 80 points on the scoreboard before the Cats have even finished pouring gravy over the Turkey. Cats were playing from a "too far behind" position the entire weekend and would never overcome the Nighthawk lead. Not even a MVT nomination worthy scoring blitz from Leshon McCoy (RD) which included a touchdown and a 2 point conversation could bridge the gap as the Nighthawks continued to mount points on the board. Not to be out shined by the Guns of Hochuli, the Nighthawks came within a touchdown of beating the Gunners weekly high score. Helmand Nighthawks get the win over their divisional opponent 174 - 141.

The third game of this week we go back to Oregon, with a repeat of the first game of the season with the Who Dat nation hosting the Australian Taipans. The Taipans have just been killed by their high scoring opponents, but in recent week their own lack of scoring has dragged them back from unlucky to wannabes. The Who Dat Nation after an early season slump have slowly worked their way back into contention to make the Championship Series. The Nation really needed to knock off the Taipans, and to do it convincingly, to help their cause. With the Gunners having already secured a Championship berth, the Nation's opportunities for a Championship series position rested on beating the Taipans. And beat them they did. Thanksgiving day started and the Nation quickly rattled off 60 points before Coach Pioneer (Taipans) asked for the mercy rule. Who Dat Nation continued to rack points up before calling it a game early Sunday. Taipans recovered thanks to the effort of Mike Evans (WR) but were never going to overcome the 80 point deficit with just their QB and WR to play. Who Dat Nation gives thanks for the Taipans coughing up a big fat turkey as they run away with the game 144 - 126.

At 12 weeks and just two games to before the playoffs lets look at what we know, and don't know.

#1 Guns of Hochuli. Gunners clinch the division and the #1 seed for the play offs. They get to stay at home throughout the play offs.

#2 Helmand Nighthawks. Helmand Nighthawks with their win and a loss by both the Black Cats and the Australian Taipans secure themselves a Championship berth. Nighthawks can finish as the #2, #3 or the #4 seed pending the outcome of the next two weeks. Their destiny is in their hands.

#6 Drunk Monkeys. The expected loss by the Drunk Monkeys eliminates them from the Championship series. Best they can finish in the league, if they show up, is 5th.

Now here's where it gets interesting.

#3 Black Cats. The Cats are at 6-6 but sit at 2-3 within their division. Their next game is against the Drunk Monkeys which on current form is going to be a win. Their last game is against divisional opponent the Australian Taipans. The Cats can win their next game, but still have to beat the Taipans and then rely on the count back if they want to advance to the Championship series.

#4 Who Dat Nation. The win by the Who Dat Nation elevates them to the #4 seed. In the last two weeks they have to play both the Guns of Hochuli (week 13) and the Drunk Monkeys (week 14). While the win against the Monkeys may already be penciled in, the Nations needs the divisional win next week against the Guns of Hochuli to elevate them to the #3 position, and avoid having to play the Gunners in the first week of the Championship series.

#5 Australian Taipans. The loss this week was critical and makes the Taipans path to the Championship series more difficult. The Taipans are tied with the Who Dat Nation at 5-7 but in the last two weeks have to play both the Helmand Nighthawks and the Black Cats. Cats and Taipans are 1-1 on the divisional series against each other, but the Taipans can loose in week 13, and if they beat the Cats in week 14, make the Championship series and eliminate the Black Cats. Taipans are playing spoiler in the final weeks.

With so many choices, so many opportunities, we had to decided on where to flex the correct game, and we went with the Guns of Hochuli hosting the Who Dat Nation. The Nation needs to beat the Gunners to have a chance in the final week of the regular season, and they need this win to avoid the #4 position which would force them to come back and play the Gunners. A loss by the Nation opens the door for both the Black Cats and the Australian Taipans to steal their way into the Championship series a week early.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For the effort of 146 rushing yards and 1 touchdown, and 1 reception for 21 yards and 1 touchdown, for a total of 35.70 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Running Back Mark Ingram of the Guns of Hochuli the Week Twelve MVT.

[Gut Wrench]

NIGHTHAWKS CLINCH #2
Three Teams Vie For Last Two Positions

Week 13 in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. 13 - unlucky for some, and did they find out this week just how unlucky this can be. We have ourselves a wild week in Fantasy Football where nobody in the western world pick all the winners this week. We'll tell you who's red hot, who's not, and who might be thinking they walked under a ladder, broke a mirror, or even crossed a Black Cats path.

We'll get down and dirty on all the evilness right after you hear about the most important

IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE FOR BEST OF SUBSIM.

Where do we start? So many upsets, so many losses, so many quick calculations to work out who might be going to the play offs and who might be going home. We stay at home with the domestic game which was also our Match of the Day. Guns of Hochuli were hosting the Who Dat Nation. The Nation were coming in to town desperately needing at least one divisional win in their last two games in order to avoid a first round play off game with...the Guns of Hochuli. The Gunners, having sewn up the league and home field advantage throughout the play offs were needing to keep their momentum going after another team has outshone them in the last four weeks (we'll get to that team next). Gunners started their new QB Matt Stafford who ran up an impressive lead for the week of 341 yards and 2 touchdowns. O'Dell Becham (WR) caught for over 140 yards however, the Guns of Hochuli let themselves down by failing to score when in the red zone. Their entire wide receiving and running back team failed to score any touchdowns, leaving the path open for the Nation. Who Dat Nation started their darling Drew Brees (QB) who matched for 326 yards and 3 TD's. Unlike the Gunners however, the Nation went in for another 5 touchdowns from their receivers and running backs. Who Dat Nation get their Christmas early as the Guns of Hochuli choke and hand the Nation a most unexpected easy path into the play offs, when they really looked like they had no business being there. Who Dat Nation advance to 6-7 with a 145 - 103 win over the Guns of Hochuli.

Next up we go out to Merry Old England where the international teams were battling it out. The Helmand Nighthawks were hosting the Australian Taipans on their longest away trip of the year. Jet lag must have gotten to Jason Whitten (TE) who did not score a single point for the Taipans. Would that lack of performance hurt them against the Nighthawks who in the last three weeks have outscored everyone to mount the highest points for in the league. Nighthawks once again relied on their running back duo of David Johnson and Ezekiel Elliot who combined for the third time this season for over 55 points. Nighthawks declared their innings closed Sunday at 160 points with a 55 point lead. Could the Taipans come back? Taipans had both TY Hilton (WR) and Adam Vinatieri (K) left to chase down the Nighthawks, and what a chase it was. Late Monday night Hilton had 200 yards receptions and Vinatieri kicked the skin off the pig, but it just wasn't enough. Nighthawks win by the non scoring of Jason Whitten 160 - 152.

Back in the Homeland, the Black Cats were hosting the Drunk Monkeys in what we predicted was going to be the easiest path to the play offs. The Monkeys have been the team we've talked about all year "what if they showed up" as they struggled to 3-9. How much more could they have been had they shown up? Well, at least 4 -9. Black Cats and Coach FYC were counting on the Monkeys not showing up after they posted a very respectable 153 points, but they didn't count on Andrew Luck (QB) coming back strong and just demolishing the Cats lead. I didn't tell the Monkeys they couldn't make the play offs, but that didn't stop them from providing one of the most unexpected results of the year with such repercussions. Drunk Monkeys get one over the Black Cats 161 - 153 and crack the play off picture wide open.

13 weeks into the season, one more week to go, and we'll nail down exactly what we know, and then we'll go into the mathematical equations.

#1 Guns of Hochuli. Gunners loss doesn't change anything, except that the little quiver at the end of the regular season may give some others hope. Guns of Hochuli own the league and the #1 seed.

#2 Helmand Nighthawks. Nighthawks win gives them the Divisional Title with one game to spare, and the #2 seed into the play offs. Helmand Nighthawks have been super hot scoring, they have now surpassed all other teams with the most points scored, most of them coming in the last four weeks. Nighthawks look like the only team that could stop the Guns of Hochuli.

#6 Drunk Monkeys. The win by the Monkeys doesn't change their future. Best they can finish is #5 in the league, but they still have one more divisional game to play. Their unexpected win in week 13 complicates things for the other three teams.

Here's where it's a mess.

#3 After sitting on the outside for so many weeks, the win by the Who Dat Nation against the league leaders coupled with the unexpected win by the Monkeys propels the Who Dat Nation into the third position. Who Dat Nation can still miss out on the Championship, but, it needs some help from other games.

#4 The unexpected loss by the Black Cats puts them in a precarious situation. Although occupying the #4 position, they are faced with the prospect of having the most to loose. Cats have to win in the final week, win and your in. Loose, and they will drop out on the count back with two other teams.

#5 Australian Taipans. Another loss has just about doomed the Taipans but their one saving grace is they play divisional rivals the Black Cats. Win, and they could be as high as the #3 seed.

And with so much riding on the final position of the league, we go back to Australia for one last time in the regular season to see the Australian Taipans host the Black Cats. The shock loss by the Cats to the Monkeys puts their final game into a do or die event.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For the effort of 278 yards and 4 touchdowns, and 26 rushing yards for a total of 37.22 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Quarter Back Andrew Luck of the Drunk Monkeys the Week Thirteen MVT.

[Gut Wrench]

REGULAR SEASON ENDS
Play Off Seeding Upheaval

Week 14 in the Subsim Fantasy Football League and it's the final week of the regular season. The final chance to cement the play off positions. And for two teams, the final chance to play spoiler in the post season. And spoiler they did play.

Let's get through the mystery after we solve the most important thing for you to do today.

IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE FOR BEST OF SUBSIM.

Top of the ladder, Guns of Hochuli and the Helmand Nighthawks. Nothing to play for, both teams have the top seeding of the division. Potentially, we looking at the Torpedo Bowl match up here. In four prior meetings this year, the Nighthawks and the Guns of Hochuli have split the season 2-2. Their most recent meeting only three weeks ago saw the Nighthawks thump the Guns of Hochuli and put the notion into Coach Casey that they may be one team who can go the distance with them. Not this week though. In a low scoring game which was replicated across all games this week, the Guns of Hochuli held off a late charge on Monday Night by the Nighthawks. Not even Justin Tucker (K) missing a 35 yard field goal, the first of the season and earning a negative score, was enough to slow down the Gunners. Guns of Hochuli round out the season by advancing to 11-3 and the #1 seed for the play offs, 108 - 84.

Game two of the weekend and the first of the possible spoiler games. In Oregon the Who Dat Nation were hosting the Drunk Monkeys. In the week prior, an unexpected win by the Nation elevated them to the #3 seed. The Nation was always going to go to the play offs with their win in Week 13, but their Week 14 gave would determine the final seeding.The Nation should have a walk in the park and demolished the Drunk Monkeys who have barely shown up this year. But show up they did, and the only demolition was by the Monkeys systematic annihilation of the Nation. The Nation QB Drew Brees carried on a league wide trait of low scoring this weekend leaving the way open for the Monkeys to run the ball. And run the ball they did. Le'Von bell ran the ball so much, he outscored the entire Who Dat Nation team. The Monkeys showed , as we have reported all year, had they shown up, the quite possible could have been the #2 or #3 seed in the play offs. Instead, their lack of attendance relegated them to 5-9 season record, just one game out of a play off position. Drunk Monkeys win over the Who Dat Nation 137 - 49 holds the Nation in limbo, pending the outcome of the final game of the week.

While the continental USA froze last weekend (except Florida) the Australian Taipans were hosting the Black Cats in the final game this year Down Under. Regardless of the outcome, more people showed up for this game than the Jets game (too soon?) Taipans have been the team heavily scored against but got a break this week when the Black Cats started both Derek Carr (QB) and the Chiefs (DEF). Rookie mistakes open the way for teams to get a win, and the Cats were no exception. Cats played poorly not even able to muster 100 points for the game. Taipans went back and forth on their QB situation all week, (Rodgers or Ryan) before settling on Aaron. A late injury to Aaron Rodgers jeopardizes the Taipans future but they were able to play through and get a much needed win over the Black Cats, 112 - 97.

With the loss, the Black Cats, Who Dat Nation and the Australian Taipans were all tied at 6-8 for the season. Back into the rule book for the count back.

The Taipans win over the Black Cats elevates them to a higher divisional seeding of 3-3. The Taipans have the most points scored throughout the year of the three teams and unbelievably, one week after being on the outside, the Australian Taipans enter the Post Season as the #3 seed. The shock loss by the Who Dat Nation in the final week also put them into a count back. The Black Cats have not been able to stop a four week run of losses, which has seen their scoring output diminish. Although they didn't score very many points this week, The Who Dat Nation has outscored the Black Cats 1909 - 1846. The Who Dat Nation arrives in the post season lucky to have survived the count back as the #4 seed. The Black Cats, a former Torpedo Bowl Champion, get 50 yard seats to the first weekend of the play offs as the #5 seed.

So lets look at our Championship Bracket for next week.

#1 Guns of Hochuli. Gunners get to welcome divisional rivals the Who Dat Nation to town. Two weeks ago the Nation convincingly beat the Guns of Hochuli, after the Gunners took care of the Nation in two separate occasions earlier in the week. Who Dat Nation, if they want to be the Champions, have the hardest path to the Torpedo Bowl, but they are one of the two teams who were able to beat the Guns of Hochuli this year.

#2 Helmand Nighthawks welcome the other international team, the Australian Taipans to Wembley Stadium. Nighthawks own the regular season 2-1 over the Taipans including a win just two weeks ago when the Nighthawks began their end of year scoring spree. Nighthawks and the Taipans are the #1 and #2 teams in most points scored, in part due to the Nighthawks late season surge. The Taipans however, hold the dubious honor of most points scored against. These two teams have historically met regularly in the post season for the past few seasons.

Drunk Monkeys and the Black Cats can pick up their 50 yard bleacher seats from the Will Call window this week. They both get a bye to play for the wooden spoon in two weeks time.

Next weeks edition will be published late as the Associated Subsim Writers will be at the Jets Saturday night, the Giants on Sunday and then a train down to Maryland for the Redskins on Monday night.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For the effort of 235 yards with 3 touchdowns, and 4 receptions for 62 yards, for a total of 57.80 points, the highest score recorded this year, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Running Back Le'Von Bell of the Drunk Monkeys the Week Fourteen MVT.