The joke thread II - Page 288

Jimbuna · 05-15-23, 06:12 AM

What do you call a Chinese Billionaire?

Cha Ching !

Jimbuna · 05-16-23, 04:17 AM

Two birds were sitting on a tree and one looked at the other and said, ‘Dam today really FLEW by’.

Jimbuna · 05-16-23, 05:06 AM

Prince Harry has heroically volunteered to destroy a cannabis field in Afghanistan. The mission will last over 2 weeks and Harry has requested additional food supplies to be made available.

Jimbuna · 05-17-23, 05:41 AM

Yo Mama is so fat.. she’s got more Chins than a Chinese telephone directory!

Jimbuna · 05-17-23, 05:41 AM

My wife and I have decided we don’t want children. If anybody does please send me your email address and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Eichhörnchen · 05-17-23, 10:46 AM

Abe Lincoln's wife: "Honestly, would it kill you to take me to a show now & then?"

Aktungbby · 05-17-23, 11:40 AM

...to which he responded humorously:"...only if you don't hang on me so ...you sockdologising ol' mantrap."

Jimbuna · 05-17-23, 12:16 PM

Yo mama is so stupid she thought seaweed was something spongebob smokes.

Jimbuna · 05-18-23, 05:52 AM

My wife was complaining the other day saying that I never take her anywhere expensive anymore. So I said “come on, get in the car we’re going to the petrol station”.

Jimbuna · 05-18-23, 05:54 AM

Saw a female police officer stripping last night at a club.

I had no idea the recession had hit the police force this hard!

Jimbuna · 05-19-23, 12:53 PM

Yo mama is so fat when she wants her photo taken she has to call Google Earth.

Jimbuna · 05-19-23, 12:59 PM

What do dating and driving have in common?
They both involve being chased by the police if you go too fast.

Jimbuna · 05-20-23, 07:16 AM

What happens when you give viagra to lawyers?

They grow taller.

Jimbuna · 05-20-23, 07:16 AM

What did the guy with Leprosy say to the whore after they made love?
Keep the tip.

Platapus · 05-20-23, 03:27 PM

I was out with my 19 year old girlfriend and people were yelling and calling me a pedophile.

It not only upset me, buy really ruined our 10th anniversary celebration.

05-15-23, 06:12 AM	#4306
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,217 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What do you call a Chinese Billionaire? Cha Ching ! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-16-23, 04:17 AM	#4307
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,217 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Two birds were sitting on a tree and one looked at the other and said, ‘Dam today really FLEW by’. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-16-23, 05:06 AM	#4308
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,217 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Prince Harry has heroically volunteered to destroy a cannabis field in Afghanistan. The mission will last over 2 weeks and Harry has requested additional food supplies to be made available. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-17-23, 05:41 AM	#4309
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,217 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Yo Mama is so fat.. she’s got more Chins than a Chinese telephone directory! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-17-23, 05:41 AM	#4310
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,217 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	My wife and I have decided we don’t want children. If anybody does please send me your email address and we can drop them off tomorrow. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-17-23, 10:46 AM	#4311
Eichhörnchen Starte das Auto Join Date: Aug 2014 Location: The Fens Posts: 15,748 Downloads: 5 Uploads: 0	Abe Lincoln's wife: "Honestly, would it kill you to take me to a show now & then?" __________________

05-17-23, 11:40 AM	#4312
Aktungbby Gefallen Engel U-666 Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: On a tilted, overheated, overpopulated spinning mudball on Collision course with Andromeda Galaxy Posts: 27,862 Downloads: 22 Uploads: 0	...to which he responded humorously:"...only if you don't hang on me so ...you sockdologising ol' mantrap." Two things lincoln may have heard as the derringer round entered his occiput: The last words Lincoln heard were from the stage during the play “Our American Cousin.” At 10:15 p.m., actor Harry Hawk, playing the title role, stood alone on stage and aimed a laugh-out-loud line at a female character who had just exited: “Don’t know the manners of good society, eh? Well I guess I know enough to turn you inside out, old gal — you sockdologizing old man-trap!” While Lincoln conversed with his wfe in the presidential box: "She [Mary] sat close to him and was leaning on his lap looking up at his face when the fatal shot was fired, his last words being in answer to her question 'What will Miss Harris [one of their guests in the presidential box] think of my hanging on to you so?'—'She won't think anything about it.'" __________________ "Only two things are infinite; The Universe and human squirrelyness; and I'm not too sure about the Universe"

05-17-23, 12:16 PM	#4313
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,217 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Yo mama is so stupid she thought seaweed was something spongebob smokes. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-18-23, 05:52 AM	#4314
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,217 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	My wife was complaining the other day saying that I never take her anywhere expensive anymore. So I said “come on, get in the car we’re going to the petrol station”. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-18-23, 05:54 AM	#4315
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,217 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Saw a female police officer stripping last night at a club. I had no idea the recession had hit the police force this hard! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-19-23, 12:53 PM	#4316
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,217 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Yo mama is so fat when she wants her photo taken she has to call Google Earth. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-19-23, 12:59 PM	#4317
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,217 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What do dating and driving have in common? They both involve being chased by the police if you go too fast. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-20-23, 07:16 AM	#4318
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,217 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What happens when you give viagra to lawyers? They grow taller. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-20-23, 07:16 AM	#4319
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,217 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What did the guy with Leprosy say to the whore after they made love? Keep the tip. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-20-23, 03:27 PM	#4320
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,951 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I was out with my 19 year old girlfriend and people were yelling and calling me a pedophile. It not only upset me, buy really ruined our 10th anniversary celebration. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.