The joke thread II - Page 304

Jimbuna · 08-14-23, 05:51 AM

What is the difference between a cat that took a nap on the Xerox machine and a cat that imitates everything you do?
One is a cat copy, and the other is a copy cat.

Platapus · 08-14-23, 03:17 PM

I went to my doctor for a prostrate exam.

He gave me the thumbs up.

Jimbuna · 08-15-23, 05:31 AM

Why is a snake difficult to fool?
You can’t pull its leg!

Jimbuna · 08-15-23, 12:58 PM

What kind of socks do grizzlies wear?
None, they have bear feet!

Platapus · 08-15-23, 05:57 PM

I can't find the words that express how bugged I get by people who don't know the difference between entomology and etymology\

Jimbuna · 08-16-23, 05:16 AM

What fish only swims at night?
Starfish!

Jimbuna · 08-16-23, 01:15 PM

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Howl.
Howl who?
Howl you know unless you open the door?

Platapus · 08-16-23, 03:47 PM

I have not talked to my wife in 10 years

I didn't want to interrupt her.

Jimbuna · 08-17-23, 05:44 AM

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Venice.
Venice who?
Venice your family coming home?

Jimbuna · 08-17-23, 07:44 AM

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Figs the doorbell, I’ve been knocking forever!

Jeff-Groves · 08-17-23, 12:37 PM

What's the proper pronoun for a chocolate bar?
Hershey.

Platapus · 08-17-23, 05:10 PM

What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate?

Candy Baaa

Jimbuna · 08-18-23, 07:04 AM

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Theodore.
Theodore who?
Theodore wasn’t opened so I knocked!

Jimbuna · 08-18-23, 07:47 AM

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ice cream.
Ice cream who?
ICE CREAM SO YOU CAN HEAR ME!

Platapus · 08-18-23, 03:22 PM

My wife: You are my umbrella

Me: Awe that's sweet. Is it because I protect you?

My wife: No. Because when I am near you, I never get wet

Me:

08-14-23, 05:51 AM	#4546
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What is the difference between a cat that took a nap on the Xerox machine and a cat that imitates everything you do? One is a cat copy, and the other is a copy cat. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-14-23, 03:17 PM	#4547
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,978 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I went to my doctor for a prostrate exam. He gave me the thumbs up. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

08-15-23, 05:31 AM	#4548
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Why is a snake difficult to fool? You can’t pull its leg! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-15-23, 12:58 PM	#4549
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What kind of socks do grizzlies wear? None, they have bear feet! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-15-23, 05:57 PM	#4550
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,978 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I can't find the words that express how bugged I get by people who don't know the difference between entomology and etymology\ __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

08-16-23, 05:16 AM	#4551
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What fish only swims at night? Starfish! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-16-23, 01:15 PM	#4552
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Knock, knock. Who’s there? Howl. Howl who? Howl you know unless you open the door? __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-16-23, 03:47 PM	#4553
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,978 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I have not talked to my wife in 10 years I didn't want to interrupt her. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

08-17-23, 05:44 AM	#4554
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Knock, knock. Who’s there? Venice. Venice who? Venice your family coming home? __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-17-23, 07:44 AM	#4555
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Knock, knock. Who’s there? Figs. Figs who? Figs the doorbell, I’ve been knocking forever! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-17-23, 12:37 PM	#4556
Jeff-Groves Village Idiot Join Date: Sep 2014 Posts: 5,322 Downloads: 130 Uploads: 0	What's the proper pronoun for a chocolate bar? Hershey. __________________ I don't do Stupid. So don't ask.

08-17-23, 05:10 PM	#4557
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,978 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? Candy Baaa __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

08-18-23, 07:04 AM	#4558
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Knock, knock. Who’s there? Theodore. Theodore who? Theodore wasn’t opened so I knocked! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-18-23, 07:47 AM	#4559
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice cream. Ice cream who? ICE CREAM SO YOU CAN HEAR ME! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-18-23, 03:22 PM	#4560
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,978 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	My wife: You are my umbrella Me: Awe that's sweet. Is it because I protect you? My wife: No. Because when I am near you, I never get wet Me: __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.