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Old 05-27-23, 06:54 AM   #4336
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I sent my wife a text :Your the best in bed


She replied: No. You're the best in bed


I felt pretty good about that......until I realized she was just correcting my grammar.


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Old 05-28-23, 05:02 AM   #4337
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Yo mama is so poor that when she goes to KFC she has to lick other peoples fingers.
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Old 05-28-23, 05:26 AM   #4338
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Yo mama is so nasty that when I called her on the phone she gave me an ear infection.
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Old 05-29-23, 10:43 AM   #4339
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Yo mama is so fat, if she wears a yellow shirt and goes on a trampoline people think she is the sun.
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Old 05-29-23, 10:49 AM   #4340
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What’s the difference between an actor and a politician? An actor has better script writers with more believable story-lines.
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Old 05-30-23, 09:53 AM   #4341
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Yo Mama is so ugly that she has to do trick or treat over the phone!
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Old 05-30-23, 09:57 AM   #4342
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The following text messages were exchanged on a cold winters day in December.

Wife: “Windows frozen.”
Husband: “Pour some warm water over them.”
Wife: “Computer completely screwed up now.”
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Old 05-31-23, 07:08 AM   #4343
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Yo mama is so fat when she walks past me at a football match I miss 20 min of the game!!!!!!
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Old 05-31-23, 07:14 AM   #4344
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How do you seduce a fat woman? Piece of cake.
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Old 06-01-23, 09:34 AM   #4345
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A man and a woman begin having sex in the middle of a field. After about 10 minutes, the man gets up and says, “Damn, I wish I had a torch!”. The woman says, “Me too, you’ve been eating grass for the past ten minutes!”
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Old 06-01-23, 09:38 AM   #4346
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I haven’t spoken to my wife in years, didn’t want to interrupt her.
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Old 06-02-23, 05:46 AM   #4347
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Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, ‘My name is Peter and I am an alcoholic’?
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Old 06-02-23, 05:53 AM   #4348
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A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the M25. Motorists have been asked to be on the lookout for 15 hardened criminals.
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Old 06-03-23, 05:47 AM   #4349
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The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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Old 06-03-23, 06:23 AM   #4350
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Twenty-six years after the Chernobyl disaster, and am I the only one that’s disappointed? Still no superheroes.
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