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Old 06-04-23, 05:14 AM   #4351
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An irish farmer sees a welsh farmer carrying 2 sheep under his arms, and asks, “are you gonna shear them?
.”No”.says the Welshman..
.”they”re both for me”.
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Old 06-04-23, 05:15 AM   #4352
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Two Irish men talking in a bar, Mick and Paddy.

“So Paddy what’s your ringtone?” says Mick
“I’ve never looked Mick but I would imagine it’s a light brown colour”.
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Old 06-05-23, 05:39 AM   #4353
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A girl went to a doctors surgery with a Strawberry up her bottom, The doctor said I’ve got some “Cream” For that.
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Old 06-05-23, 05:41 AM   #4354
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I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman…

“Mr Cook?”

“Yes,” I replied.

“I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.”

I said, “That’s ridiculous – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”
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Old 06-05-23, 03:22 PM   #4355
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My wife could not understand why I was mad at her for being lazy


"But, I haven't done anything!" she retorted
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Old 06-06-23, 05:38 AM   #4356
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What’s green and smells like yellow paint?

Green Paint
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Old 06-06-23, 05:56 AM   #4357
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Your Mom is so fat she needs a lifeguard for her cereal bowl.
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Old 06-07-23, 07:47 AM   #4358
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What do dentists call their x-rays?

Tooth pics!
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Old 06-07-23, 08:02 AM   #4359
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Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon?

It had great food, but no atmosphere.
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Old 06-07-23, 04:17 PM   #4360
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What is Peter Pan's favorite place to eat out?




Wendy's
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Old 06-08-23, 07:03 AM   #4361
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What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Old 06-08-23, 07:04 AM   #4362
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy and the other’s a little lighter.
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Old 06-09-23, 06:51 AM   #4363
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Why should you never trust stairs?

They’re always up to something.
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Old 06-09-23, 06:59 AM   #4364
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When does a joke become a ‘dad’ joke?

When it becomes apparent.
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Old 06-10-23, 12:19 AM   #4365
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An old married couple just learned how to text so the wife decides to send a romantic note and she writes:
"If you are eating send me a taste
If you are drinking send me a sip
If you are laughing send me a smile
If you are asleep send me a dream"

After a few minutes, the husband texts back;
"I'm on the toilet, please advise."


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