The joke thread II - Page 336

Jimbuna · 02-04-24, 02:01 PM

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob if we don't get support people are going to think we're nuts.

Jimbuna · 02-05-24, 02:55 PM

What's got four legs and one arm? A Rottweiler.

Platapus · 02-05-24, 03:38 PM

February contains two very interesting events -- Groundhog Day and the State of the Union speech

One involves a meaningless ritual where we look to a notoriously unreliable mammal for prognostication with no basis in reality.

The other involves a Groundhog.

Jimbuna · 02-06-24, 12:52 PM

In Germany they are preparing for the crisis by stocking up with sausage and cheese, that's the wurst käse scenario.

Jimbuna · 02-06-24, 02:31 PM

My midget friend got thrown out of the nudist colony because he kept getting in everyone's hair.

Platapus · 02-06-24, 02:36 PM

A limbo champion walks into a bar.

He’s disqualified.

Jimbuna · 02-07-24, 08:44 AM

Why did the belt get arrested? Because it held up a pair of pants!

Platapus · 02-07-24, 03:41 PM

“Indecisive” is my favorite word.

Actually, no, it isn’t.

Jimbuna · 02-08-24, 09:33 AM

What is white when it's dirty and black when it's clean? A blackboard!

Platapus · 02-08-24, 01:29 PM

When ordering food at a restaurant, I asked the waiter how they prepare their chicken.

“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”

Jimbuna · 02-09-24, 01:12 PM

How do you fix a woman's watch? Why should you? There's a clock on the oven.

Platapus · 02-09-24, 02:51 PM

I don’t have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere.

Jimbuna · 02-09-24, 02:54 PM

How does one know a man is going to say something smart?..His senentences start with "A woman once told me.."

Platapus · 02-10-24, 06:07 AM

Why are cigarettes good for the environment?

They kill people.

Jimbuna · 02-10-24, 11:18 AM

My wife beamed at me with pride and said, "Wow! I never thought our son would go that far!" I said: "This trebuchet is amazing! Go get our daughter."

02-04-24, 02:01 PM	#5026
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,360 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob if we don't get support people are going to think we're nuts. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-05-24, 02:55 PM	#5027
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,360 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What's got four legs and one arm? A Rottweiler. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-05-24, 03:38 PM	#5028
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,985 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	February contains two very interesting events -- Groundhog Day and the State of the Union speech One involves a meaningless ritual where we look to a notoriously unreliable mammal for prognostication with no basis in reality. The other involves a Groundhog. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

02-06-24, 12:52 PM	#5029
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,360 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	In Germany they are preparing for the crisis by stocking up with sausage and cheese, that's the wurst käse scenario. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-06-24, 02:31 PM	#5030
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,360 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	My midget friend got thrown out of the nudist colony because he kept getting in everyone's hair. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-06-24, 02:36 PM	#5031
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,985 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	A limbo champion walks into a bar. He’s disqualified. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

02-07-24, 08:44 AM	#5032
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,360 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Why did the belt get arrested? Because it held up a pair of pants! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-07-24, 03:41 PM	#5033
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,985 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	“Indecisive” is my favorite word. Actually, no, it isn’t. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

02-08-24, 09:33 AM	#5034
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,360 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What is white when it's dirty and black when it's clean? A blackboard! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-08-24, 01:29 PM	#5035
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,985 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	When ordering food at a restaurant, I asked the waiter how they prepare their chicken. “Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.” __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

02-09-24, 01:12 PM	#5036
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,360 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	How do you fix a woman's watch? Why should you? There's a clock on the oven. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-09-24, 02:51 PM	#5037
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,985 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I don’t have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

02-09-24, 02:54 PM	#5038
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,360 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	How does one know a man is going to say something smart?..His senentences start with "A woman once told me.." __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-10-24, 06:07 AM	#5039
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,985 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Why are cigarettes good for the environment? They kill people. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

02-10-24, 11:18 AM	#5040
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,360 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	My wife beamed at me with pride and said, "Wow! I never thought our son would go that far!" I said: "This trebuchet is amazing! Go get our daughter." __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)