The joke thread II - Page 251

August · 09-30-22, 12:14 PM

Guy at the furniture store told me this sofa would sit five people without any problems.

Then it occurred to me that I don't know five people without any problems!

Jimbuna · 09-30-22, 02:27 PM

Me: Alexa, remind me to go to the gym.
Alexa: I have added gin to your shopping list.
Me: Close enough.

Platapus · 09-30-22, 04:25 PM

I ordered a book on puns
I didn't get it

Platapus · 09-30-22, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by August

Guy at the furniture store told me this sofa would sit five people without any problems.

Then it occurred to me that I don't know five people without any problems!

Nice one.

Jimbuna · 10-01-22, 02:13 AM

The man who created auto-correct has dies.

Restaurant in peace.

Jimbuna · 10-02-22, 10:00 AM

If you watch the film Jaws backwards it’s actually a heartwarming story about a shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people.

Commander Wallace · 10-02-22, 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimbuna

If you watch the film Jaws backwards it’s actually a heartwarming story about a shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people.

Catfish · 10-02-22, 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimbuna

If you watch the film Jaws backwards it’s actually a heartwarming story about a shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people.

Jimbuna · 10-03-22, 08:18 AM

Research scientists have discovered that fat women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

Jimbuna · 10-05-22, 07:27 AM

Girlfriend just accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.

Jimbuna · 10-06-22, 01:37 PM

6 was afraid of 7 cuz 7 8 9, but why was 10 afraid? Cuz he was in the middle of 9/11

Jimbuna · 10-08-22, 07:00 AM

Scientists in India have now invented a new Covid Vaccine.

It’s called the Pun-jab.

Jimbuna · 10-08-22, 01:54 PM

Depth limit for recreational divers – 12 meters
Depth limit for experience divers – 30 meters
Scuba diving world record – 137 meters
Depth limit for my Casio watch – 500 meters

Cheers, Casio that’s a relief

Jimbuna · 10-09-22, 05:04 AM

Tinder is for rookies. I used Facebook marketplace and search for wedding dresses. It gives you all the recently divorced females in your area and you can filter by size.

Jimbuna · 10-09-22, 02:26 PM

I parked my car outside parliament. “Sir, you can’t park here,” said a police officer. “This is where our politicians work.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve locked it.”

09-30-22, 12:14 PM	#3751
August Wayfaring Stranger Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 22,716 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Guy at the furniture store told me this sofa would sit five people without any problems. Then it occurred to me that I don't know five people without any problems! __________________ Flanked by life and the funeral pyre. Putting on a show for you to see.

09-30-22, 02:27 PM	#3752
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,382 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Me: Alexa, remind me to go to the gym. Alexa: I have added gin to your shopping list. Me: Close enough. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

09-30-22, 04:25 PM	#3753
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,986 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I ordered a book on puns I didn't get it __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

10-01-22, 02:13 AM	#3755
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,382 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	The man who created auto-correct has dies. Restaurant in peace. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

10-02-22, 10:00 AM	#3756
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,382 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	If you watch the film Jaws backwards it’s actually a heartwarming story about a shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

10-03-22, 08:18 AM	#3759
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,382 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Research scientists have discovered that fat women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

10-05-22, 07:27 AM	#3760
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,382 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Girlfriend just accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my wife. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

10-06-22, 01:37 PM	#3761
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,382 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	6 was afraid of 7 cuz 7 8 9, but why was 10 afraid? Cuz he was in the middle of 9/11 __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

10-08-22, 07:00 AM	#3762
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,382 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Scientists in India have now invented a new Covid Vaccine. It’s called the Pun-jab. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

10-08-22, 01:54 PM	#3763
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,382 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Depth limit for recreational divers – 12 meters Depth limit for experience divers – 30 meters Scuba diving world record – 137 meters Depth limit for my Casio watch – 500 meters Cheers, Casio that’s a relief __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

10-09-22, 05:04 AM	#3764
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,382 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Tinder is for rookies. I used Facebook marketplace and search for wedding dresses. It gives you all the recently divorced females in your area and you can filter by size. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

10-09-22, 02:26 PM	#3765
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,382 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I parked my car outside parliament. “Sir, you can’t park here,” said a police officer. “This is where our politicians work.” “Don’t worry, I’ve locked it.” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)