The joke thread II - Page 246

Jimbuna · 08-05-22, 06:07 AM

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

Jimbuna · 08-07-22, 01:46 PM

Two cows are grazing in a field. One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?" The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"

Jimbuna · 08-08-22, 01:42 PM

I told my physical therapist that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.

Jimbuna · 08-09-22, 09:07 AM

What did the swordfish say to the marlin?

You're looking sharp.

Jimbuna · 08-10-22, 09:38 AM

How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it.

Jimbuna · 08-11-22, 07:24 AM

Will glass coffins be a success?

Remains to be seen.

Jimbuna · 08-13-22, 12:40 PM

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me.

Platapus · 08-13-22, 02:24 PM

I stopped off at a bookstore

"Do you have any books on Shakespeare?"

"Yes, we do, is there any one you are especially interested in?"

"Uh..... William?"

Von Due · 08-13-22, 03:18 PM

Man Utd

Jimbuna · 08-14-22, 06:04 AM

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?

He's all right now.

Catfish · 08-14-22, 06:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Von Due

Man Utd

This was mean.

Jimbuna · 08-14-22, 11:46 AM

Q. What do you call a Manchester United fan with half a brain?

A: Gifted.

Jimbuna · 08-15-22, 01:46 PM

What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind?

A maybe.

Jimbuna · 08-16-22, 07:45 AM

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

There's no menu—you get what you deserve.

Jimbuna · 08-17-22, 12:03 PM

Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today?

I don't know, and I don't really care.

08-05-22, 06:07 AM	#3676
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,475 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-07-22, 01:46 PM	#3677
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,475 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Two cows are grazing in a field. One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?" The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!" __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-08-22, 01:42 PM	#3678
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,475 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I told my physical therapist that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-09-22, 09:07 AM	#3679
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,475 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What did the swordfish say to the marlin? You're looking sharp. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-10-22, 09:38 AM	#3680
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,475 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-11-22, 07:24 AM	#3681
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,475 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-13-22, 12:40 PM	#3682
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,475 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-13-22, 02:24 PM	#3683
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,990 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I stopped off at a bookstore "Do you have any books on Shakespeare?" "Yes, we do, is there any one you are especially interested in?" "Uh..... William?" __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

08-13-22, 03:18 PM	#3684
Von Due Sea Lord Join Date: Jul 2012 Posts: 1,665 Downloads: 30 Uploads: 0	Man Utd

08-14-22, 06:04 AM	#3685
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,475 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-14-22, 11:46 AM	#3687
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,475 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Q. What do you call a Manchester United fan with half a brain? A: Gifted. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-15-22, 01:46 PM	#3688
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,475 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind? A maybe. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-16-22, 07:45 AM	#3689
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,475 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There's no menu—you get what you deserve. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-17-22, 12:03 PM	#3690
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,475 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today? I don't know, and I don't really care. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)