SUBSIM: The Web's #1 resource for all submarine & naval simulations since 1997 |
04-01-22, 12:10 AM | #1 |
Born to Run Silent
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Starting a new venture: SUBSIM Coffee Company (April Fool 2022)
You know, I've been retired two years now and the toughest part is keeping busy. Lucky for me an old college friend brought a great business opportunity my way. With his contacts and my backing, we're launching the SUBSIM Coffee Company. Everyone loves great coffee and we will feature the best special blends that will go great with long nights in the Atlantic playing Cold Waters and Wolfpack.
I have a special deal for all SUBSIM members, free samples, my friends. . . . Enjoy! Onkel Neal
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SUBSIM - 26 Years on the Web Last edited by Onkel Neal; 04-02-22 at 07:57 AM. |
04-01-22, 12:53 AM | #2 |
Shark above Space Chicken
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It's only 22:52 and I want my money back or the damned coffee.....
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"However vast the darkness, we must provide our own light." Stanley Kubrick "Tomorrow belongs to those who can hear it coming." David Bowie |
04-01-22, 01:08 AM | #3 |
CINC Pacific Fleet
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Down Under
Posts: 33,684
Downloads: 171
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Sorry but by the time it got to Australia it would be rather stale, not to mention the freight cost!!
I hope your venture is a success, all the best!!
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Sub captains go down with their ship! |
04-01-22, 02:04 AM | #4 |
Ocean Warrior
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I'm the opposite; I was always very busy at work so when I retired almost four years ago that is the last thing I wanted to be.
Good luck with your business !
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"Realistic" is not always GAME-GOOD." - Wave Skipper |
04-01-22, 03:05 AM | #5 |
Ace of the Deep
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Hmm. The Atlantic? May need some Subsim coffee for the Pacific though. :8q
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04-01-22, 03:14 AM | #6 |
Ocean Warrior
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 3,465
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Hopefully Skybird likes your coffee more than he likes Donald Trump otherwise you'll get verbally verbosely torpedoed, and we'll have an April 1st Committee.
Import the beans from Colombia on a narco sub
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em2nought is weird Last edited by em2nought; 04-01-22 at 03:20 AM. Reason: expound |
04-01-22, 03:28 AM | #7 |
LSH-2022 Liaison Officer
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Dont be a fool n dont miss the bus order by the 1st of April or you will miss out good one Onkel
its all El Whackos fault all those acorn shells
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04-01-22, 04:34 AM | #8 |
Soaring
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I had to read this twice to not believe it!
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If you feel nuts, consult an expert.
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04-01-22, 05:22 AM | #9 |
CINC Pacific Fleet
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Down Under
Posts: 33,684
Downloads: 171
Uploads: 0
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Don't tell me I was sucked in!!
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Sub captains go down with their ship! |
04-01-22, 05:29 AM | #10 |
Dipped Squirrel Operative
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"Crush depth blend"
Maybe add a uboat cocktail to widen the experience
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>^..^<*)))>{ All generalizations are wrong. |
04-01-22, 05:39 AM | #11 |
Ocean Warrior
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SILENT BATTLE STATIONS COFFEE.
This is an authentic recipe for a "coffee-like" beverage enjoyed during a typical "OPS" watch (12-14 hours avg.). Start by buying a box of Carnation or Swiss Miss Instant Hot Chocolate packets (bonus if you find the type with mini marshmallows). Open the box and remove all of the envelopes of instant coco, crush each envelope, cram back in box. Start a pot of Neal's scam coffee. Once the coffee has completed brewing, DO NOT empty grounds or turn off heat source! Leave the pot alone for at least 3-4 hours. Use this time to examine a soldering iron or change the oil in your car. You may ask, "But ET2SN, won't the coffee be burned and bitter?" You're d@mned tootin' it will be. We want the coffee to be scorched to the point where where it changes from the traditional deep brown color to an oil-sludge black hue. Empty one or two (if you're feeling adventurous) packets of hot coco mix into a traditional Navy mug and fill to the top with the burned coffee. Stir no more than FOUR revolutions (to avoid dissolving the spoon) then allow the mug to cool for several hours. "SBS coffee beverage" (aka: mocha) is best experienced when its somewhere between luke-warm and room temperature. DO NOT drink quickly! Ulcer-like symptoms will develop quickly if you try to chug this stuff in large gulps. Trust me, you won't be falling asleep for a while. |
04-01-22, 06:05 AM | #12 |
Old enough to know better
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“Two possibilities exist: either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.” ― Arthur C. Clarke |
04-01-22, 06:06 AM | #13 |
Soaring
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Throw a rivet into your coffee brewing. When the rivet swims on top, the coffee is ready.
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If you feel nuts, consult an expert.
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04-01-22, 06:52 AM | #14 | |
Silent Hunter
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Quote:
I think your coffee would dissolve the fillings in someone's teeth not to mention remove the paint from someone's stomach. I love adventure but this may be a bit much. I think I will stick to traditional Navy Coffee with a pinch of Sea Salt. Even better with a dram or so of Irish Whiskey in my coffee. @ Neal Shakes head. You can mess with a lot of things but when you mess with someone's coffee, that's when it gets real and Will Smith comes out a slappin'. I think this will be the new catch phrase: " Don't make me get all Will Smith on ya. " |
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04-01-22, 07:07 AM | #15 |
Ocean Warrior
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Oops ! That's part of being retired; date/time, what's that ?
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"Realistic" is not always GAME-GOOD." - Wave Skipper |
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