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Old 07-20-16, 09:08 AM   #1
NeonSamurai
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The US Navy was ready to protect American trade interests...

But the Navy faced the problem of having neither coaling stations, nor any American naval bases in the Asia-Pacific region.


The shocking outcome of the Battle of Manila Bay...

Spurred the Spanish government to organize a relief expedition to the Philippines.

Last edited by NeonSamurai; 07-20-16 at 02:10 PM.
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Old 07-20-16, 10:48 AM   #2
Sailor Steve
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NeonSamurai View Post
The US Navy, was ready to protect American trade interests.
Comma should not be used there.

Quote:
But the Navy faced the problem of having neither coaling stations, nor any American naval bases in the Asia-Pacific region.
Never begin a sentence with "but".

I think Neon's original wording is best. If it needs to be divided between two separate frames, a simple "..." after the first phrase would do.

The US Navy, though ready to protect American trade interests...

Faced the problem of having neither coaling stations, nor any American naval bases in the Asia-Pacific region.

[edit] On second thought, Neon's suggestion here could also work the same way, with a little tweaking:

The U.S. Navy was ready to protect American trade interests...

But the navy faced the problem of having neither coaling stations nor any American naval bases in the Asia-Pacific region.



Quote:
The shocking outcome of the Battle of Manila Bay...

Spurred the Spanish government to organize a relief expedition to the Philippines.
That one looks perfect to me.
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Old 07-20-16, 02:08 PM   #3
NeonSamurai
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Fixed

Now go back to aiding Ms. Trump with her speeches
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Old 07-20-16, 04:10 PM   #4
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Oh, and
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