2012 Subsim Fantasy Football Reports

[Gut Wrench]

HOW HIGH CAN YOU SCORE?
Don't ask Tom.


Week Two in the 2011 Subsim Fantasy Football, and how come someone didn't point out the error in title of this thread? A check of the copy room reveals Bernard was working that night.

The early game, the big shoot out between Tom Brady of the of the Nutcrushers and Phillip Rivers of the Australian Taipans. Last week, it was Coach Mookie who said

Hard to count on Brady throwing for 500 yds and 4 TDs each week.

Brady was off his game and only threw for 423 yards and 3 TD's this week. At the post game conference, it was evident that Tom upset.

"I throw 3 TD's and Anquan Brown, Jacoby Jones and Derick Mason can't catch one?"

Really Tom? Cussing out your team in week two? Disharmony in the Nutcruchers see them fall to the Australian Taipans 79 - 121.

The anticipated top of the table clash between the Wild Boston Terriers and the Ghost Monkeys lived up to expectations, and a new season record. In a league when a win would be expected if your score 95 points, the 108 by the Terriers wasn't enough as Mookie and the Ghost Monkeys asserted themselves as the leagues premier team, racking up 152 points. What a difference a year can make, when Mookie had the first half of season decided by less a point, to turn around and lay siege. The Ghost Monkeys step out as the #1 team in the league.

After an embarrassing loss last week, Mr Chris and the Helmand Nighthawks went home to London and regrouped. With no film on the newest team to the league, the Delaware Destroyers, this was the other high scoring game of the week. Unfortunately, like what happened in the Bills/Raiders game, the television broadcast left the game at 4th and 1 with 37 seconds to play, and no one got to watch the thriller of the week as the Nighthawks romped home. Final score Nighthawks 137 Destroyers 119.

Bookmakers in Vegas have again lowered the odds of Coach Rick and the Dragons to win the Torpedo pool after they quietly advanced to 2-0 with a win over Every Given Sunday 137 - 98. It didn't help that EGS Kicker, Nate Kading started the game in the local hospital with his foot in a cast. Still, even though Kading scored 0 for EGS, the Ravens defence was only marginally better with 2 points. The Dragons match up next week in the game of the week against the Wild Boston Terriers, a rematch of the championship game a few years ago.

In a surprising game, Coach Pit started WR Brandon Lloyd and TE Mercedes Lewis for a grand total of...no score. One can only wonder what might have been in t e game against the Bad Asses. Badasses win in a (relative) low scoring game, 97 - 82.

The closest game of the week was Coach Casey taking his new team, the Guns of Hoculli to an ealry lead and waiting out the Black Cats and their Giant defense in the last game of the week. The Cats came within 4 points of winning the game with a late defensive touchdown, but the Giants were unable to hold the opposition to less than 7 points. Final scored, the Guns of Hoculli 110, the Black Cats 101.

As the league heads to week 3, 4 teams are looking for the first win and four teams remain undefeated at 2-0.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For achieving 9 receptions for 143 yards and 3 receiving TD's for a total of 39 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Miles Austin of the Helmand Nighthawks with the Week Two MVT.

[mookiemookie]

I was tired of losing by 1 point every week last year, so I decided to get the blowout win award every week this year. It was a brilliantly simple plan, really.

[AVGWarhawk]

seems to be working!

[Gut Wrench]

THREE THRILLERS
But no win for Tom or Tony.


Week Three in the 2011 Subsim Fantasy Football, and Tom Brady of the Nutcrunchers can pass for half a mile and 4 TD's and still loose, but if you want thrillers hanging on Monday Night, look no further than Tony Romo of the Delaware Destroyers playing in the low scoring slugfest of the week.

Before we look at this weeks game, lets get the important information out there straight away.

DONATE TO SUBSIM.

And now back to the games.

Pertpetual candass quarterback Tony Romo of the Delaware Crunchers, needed everything he had on the last game of week. The Delaware Destroyers were trailing the Australian Taipans and looked set to upset the #2 ranked team after the Taipans QB Phillip Robers choked earlier. Needing just a measley 9 points, their victory rested on the supposedly punctured lung and bruised ego of Tony Romo. With less than 2 minutes to go, Coach Growler opted to have Romo ...hand off the ball. Taipans win with the low score of 68.92 - 61.85.

The second thriller of the week belong to the Ghost Monkeys (2-0) and the BP Badasses. The Asses were trailing The Mokeys after Kenny Brit broke his ankle, leaving the team perched precariously looking at their first loss. Jason Whitten was the sole remaining member of the Monkeys to play, but the Badasses had two wide receivers and slowly caught enough catches to pull away. In the final quarter of the week, the Basasses showed their flesh parts and slowly mooned the Monkeys to win by 9 points. Final score, Badasses 103 Ghost Monkeys 94.

The third thriller of the week was the celler dweller battle of the Nutcrunchers and the Black Cats. Coach AVG Warhawk was thinking that his lead by Terrific Tom and his 387 yards was enough, but when your opposition is Big Ben, no win is assured.

"Don't you have some woman to assault?" Coach Warhawk exclaimed at the end of the game, preferring not to shake hands but to flip off Big Ben. Roethlisberger is listed as probable for next week with hurt feelings, as the Black Cats get their first win 96.23 - 93.19

The surprise winner of the weekend was Coach Casey with his new team, the Guns of Hocculi. Against the traditional high scoring team of Mr Chris and the Helmand Nighthawks, the Guners (or is it the Hockers?) hold the Nighthawks down to earn another surprise win, while moving to the top of the league at 3-0. Next week they play away against a set of Badasses.

Slowly and quietly, Coach Rick and the Dragons have slithered to 3-0 and lead the Subsimmers by one game. The Dragons were matched against the high powered Wild Boston Terriers, but the Dragons were too strong on the arm of Matthew Stafford and the hands of Calvin Johnson.

"See my first year QB," Coach Rick beamed after the game. "We're aiming for 4," as the Dragons head away to play the Black Cats.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For a convincing win aganst Every Given Sunday (what's happened to them this year?) achieving 254 yards and 4 passing TD's for a total of 27 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Eli Manning of the Reapers with the Week Three MVT.

[Growler]

After this last week's performance, I've half a mind to fire the entire team and take this year's ticket revenues to a small island somewhere warm.

[mookiemookie]

A moment of silence, please, for Kenny Britt's ACL.

Man, my WR's crapped the bed this week.

[AVGWarhawk]

I was so close to a win. I could taste it!!! Spanked again....

[AVGWarhawk]

Originally Posted by Growler

After this last week's performance, I've half a mind to fire the entire team and take this year's ticket revenues to a small island somewhere warm.

I have and still suck.....

[mookiemookie]

Originally Posted by AVGWarhawk

I was so close to a win. I could taste it!!! Spanked again....

Get used to it. It won't be any different next weekend either.

[AVGWarhawk]

Originally Posted by mookiemookie

Get used to it. It won't be any different next weekend either.

Says you....

[Growler]

Totally off-topic for a moment:

Chris, you coming down to the boat at all this weekend? Work Weekend 2011, should be a nice one.

[AVGWarhawk]

Originally Posted by Growler

Totally off-topic for a moment:

Chris, you coming down to the boat at all this weekend? Work Weekend 2011, should be a nice one.

I might be able to come down Sunday. Saturday I can not make it.

[Growler]

Originally Posted by AVGWarhawk

I might be able to come down Sunday. Saturday I can not make it.

Cool, should be fine. Looks like about 50 showing up for most of it, and so far, weather looks decent, if a little cool. Hope you can make it!

[RickC Sniper]

Love the weekly sports reports Gut Wrench. Keep them coming.

[CaptainHaplo]

I won a game? Really????

*Passes out*