In celebration of me finally, after months of trying, getting Aces of the Deep's sound to working I decided to start a new campaign on the game that literally introduced me and got me hooked on subsims in the first place. The following is a true story of what happened during one of my patrols.
So it was patrol 5, August of 1940, the second patrol in my newly famed type VIIB. I had already taken out a Troop Carrier (11,000 tons.) and a tanker (9,000 tons) this patrol so I was in a good mood. BDU contacts me and tells me to intercept a convoy near scapa flow. So after an uneventful journey to the intercept point I take my first look at the convoy.
Small Convoy....
Heavily escorted.....
At Least Five Destroyers....
(Maybe more, hard to count them when you are busy dodging depth charges and trying to line up a good shot at the same time.)
Anyway, after I give the destroyers the slip I select my first target, the ship on the front left of the convoy, which happens to be a troop carrier (11,000 tons like the one before.) I'm a little over 2,000 meters away when a destroyer sees my periscope and begins his run.
Not having much time (The destroyer was under 600m away.) I fired all four of my front tubes at the troop carrier and ordered a crash dive down to 200m.
As I'm dodging the next onslaught of depth charges My sonar-man begins to speak to me.
...Torpedo Dud....
...Torpedo Dud....
...Torpedo Dud....
...Torpedo Dud....
Ugh, blasted torpedoes are acting up again, that's alright, I'll come back up and try the stern torpedo. A few minutes pass, I'm in a good position, much closer this time (a little over 1000m) The destroyer is still hot on my tail so I line my stern up with the troop carrier, fire the torpedo, and order a crash dive back down to 200m again.
Guess what?
...Torpedo Dud.....
Banging my head against the computer screen but not willing to give up yet, I set my course to be equal to that of the convoy and travel underneath them, effectively confusing the destroyers. After over 20 minutes of listening to destroyers pinging me, I finally get another fresh load of torpedoes in the tubes, I head up to periscope depth to see what's nearby.
A 36,000 ton battleship is about to pass right in front of me within 1000m.......
Same routine, Line up shot, fire four tubes, crash dive 200m, and you guys are not going to believe what happened next.
...Torpedo Dud....
...Torpedo Dud....
...Torpedo Dud....
...Torpedo Dud....
Back up to periscope depth, align stern, fire tube.
...Torpedo Dud....
By now I've pretty much given up, my torpedoes are depleted, my oxygen is running semi-low, and the destroyers have found me and have started having another field day with their depth charges. I dodge the destroyers for a few more hours until they finally took pity on my rotten torpedo shooting skills and drove off laughing. I returned with 20,000 tons under my belt. BDU (feeling sorry for me I guess.) decided to award me with a German Cross with Oak leaves.
All in all I guess I can't complain, I got away safe and sound, only one depth charge managed to hit me (and the damage was minor.) But ten of my torpedoes that patrol were duds. Now I know that the torpedoes were "faulty" back then but there is a line between "faulty" and just plain "do not work."
I don't know, maybe I'm doing something wrong, I usually like to get to around 700m and fire that way it reduces the chances of the torpedo missing/exploding randomly in the open water. But this method has worked well for me in the past. This is the first patrol I've had where every single torpedo I fired turned out to be duds. (Insert joke about Bernard messing with the torpedoes here
)
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tl:dr version - I fired a bunch of torpedoes and they were all duds
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Bernard: Are you done ranting now? My head hurts.
Howard: What did you do to my torpedoes?
Bernard: Oh I forgot to tell you, I took the liberty of stocking our ship with the new eco-friendly torpedoes.
Howard: Eco.....Friendly?....?
Bernard: Yes, they are alot less harmful to the environment because the explosives have been removed.
Howard:..........
Bernard: Something wrong sir?
Howard: BERNARD!!!!!!!