WEEK ONE SHOCKS
...are we looking at a Drunk Dynasty?
Week One in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. We've got all the news of all the games and all the results. We also have a little smack talking - the first time we've heard from one Coach since dinosaurs roamed the earth, but go ahead, be smug, it's only week one.
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Let's start with one of the new teams to the league, the Boss Team. An expansion team this year based in Twickenham, England, the Bosses were hosting the most successful team in the history of the league. One of the foundation clubs, the Helmand Nighthawks only needed to catch a British Rail train for their shortest "away" match of the year, as the first time as a visiting team on home soil. The Bosses were lead with Jalen Hurts (QB) under center, but it was Johnathon Taylor (RB) who did all the damage on the ground against the Nighthawks. Patrick Mahonnes (QB) leads the Nighthawks this year and despite throwing for 360 yards and 5 touchdowns, the lack of offensive work from the rest of the team meant that Mahonnes (QB) carried the team on his back - but not for a win. On debut in the league, the Bosses take care of business and hand the Nighthawks an improbable loss of 167 - 122.
In the Pacific North West, the Who Dat Nation got to stay at home for opening day for the first time in several years as they hosted the Black Cats. The Black Cats came out of the draft with the best documented team, but as we've seen from the Cats, that don't mean a purr if you don't show up for the games. This year, the Black Cats and Coach FYC are on their game and slithered into town to give the Nation an exercise in execution. The Cats were just too strong and left town with their tail in the air and their head held high as they handed the Nation their first loss of the season. Final score in Eugene, Oregon, - the Black Cats beat the Who Dat Nation 171 - 103.
Our Match of the Day this week was the defending Torpedo Bowl Champions the Guns of Hochuli hosting the Australian Taipans. The Taipans are still sharing their home stadium with the other football team so they stayed on their road trip, having not been home in three years since before the pandemic. These two have battled each other over the years closely, but not this time, this was a landslide. It wasn't even Sunday night before we heard Coach Casey speaking about their many wins to the national media. I even heard Coach Pioneer's response - well I saw it, he used sign language - well, at least some of his finger to respond to Coach Casey. The Guns of Hochuli give the Taipans a skinning and stamp their dominance on the Surface Skimmers Division. Gunners thrash the Taipans 167-130.
Wow. When was the last time those three teams all lost on the same day.
If, there is a perennial fan favorite of any of the teams, its the Drunk Monkeys. Coach Thad and the Monkeys have historically been recognized as the best damm 2-14 team in the world with multiple seasons where they could have been 14-2. The Monkeys historically start off scratching their backside and just swing from side to side throughout the season. This year they get to stay at home for the first time since chimps walked the earth hosting another expansion team, Coach Anthony and the Brigade. The problem being an expansion team - ignore the Bosses, is that you're probably not going to win your first game. The Drunk Monkeys showed up and welcomed the Brigade by putting on an outstanding display where they almost reached 200 points. Finals score - Drunk Monkeys 197 - to the Brigades 90.
So where does that leave us at the end of Week 1, half the teams are 1-0, the other half are 0-1. Next week we go to England for the first of many international games where the Helmand Nighthawks will be hosting the Who Dat Nation. Both teams suffered losses in the first week of the year and as divisional rivals, it's not too early to start talking about divisional wins, as we've seen this division tighten in the last few weeks of recent years to cause multiple count back situations.
Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.
You look around the league and there were a lot of scores worthy of this weeks award, but , our recipient's award has to be taken into account given the final score that the team put up. As they did last year, this team wins the MVT on opening day. For the effort 9 receptions for 184 yards and 2 touchdowns, for a total of 45.40 points, the Week One MVT goes to Justin Jefferson of the Drunk Monkeys.
