OMG- WHO LOST THIS WEEKEND?
Who's Going to the Torpedo Bowl?
Week Sixteen in the Subsim Fantasy Football League.
Wow. We have perhaps the biggest upset of the year...so far. We have an expansion team coming through the pack. We have a former Torpedo Bowl winner holding off another expansion team, and we have one game that already, has seen five rewrites of this column throughout the weekend.
And until we get one last game played, we don't know who's going anywhere until the final play of Monday night.
It's a wild and wacky Christmas weekend to start the first week of the play offs, and we have all the gripping details for you, right after this message.
DONATE TO SUBSIM...AND NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM
Let's start with one of the international expansion teams, hosting their first play off game on debut. After going through the count back process last week, the Boss team started to dress up Twickenham for the first of two play off games in England. The Bosses were hosting the Black Cats who after a great start to the season, just fell in a slump for the remainder of the regular season. Both teams had their starting quarterbacks sidelined through Christmas day food poisoning (too many North Sea shrimp). Justin Conner (RB) was the stand out for the Cats putting up 25 points on his own, but, Coach FYC also started Tampa Bay (DEF) with the two cancelling each other out. That rookie mistake was not replicated by the Bosses who had Travis Kelce (TE) score 23 points without getting into the in zone. The Bosses had a guest in attendance, Bruce Springsteen, who cheered his name-team on for an easy victory in a relative low scoring game. Bosses ran all over the Black Cats 105 - 70.
In Texas, the Guns of Hochuli were hosting the Banter Brigade. The Gunners were the big losers of the three way count back at the end of the regular season, dropping from fourth to sixth. Coach Casey in the post game interview last week lamented lost opportunities earlier in the season and vowed that the Guns of Hochuli would advance through the consolation series. Against the second expansion team, the Gunners as former Torpedo Bowl winners just had more experience in play off situations than to leave a player on the bench, as the Brigade did with Andrew Robinson (WR). The Gunners didn't put up spectacular numbers, but just methodically continued to outscore the Brigade at each position. This game was well and truly decided by Sunday lunchtime, to the point it was a matter of how wide the divide would be. Guns of Hochuli account for the Banter Brigade 127 - 105.
Our third game of the weekend was a shock upset. Traditional divisional rivals, the Who Dat Nation Rises boarded a plane and flew to merry old England where they were hosted by the Helmand Nighthawks. With bad weather everywhere, including the Nighthawks hallowed turf, Wembley, the first players on Thursday night didn't score a lot of points. The line on the game had the Nighthawks favored by 15 points but that vanished in the polar vortex of Christmas Eve as the Nation Joe Burrow (QB) and Tee Higgins (WR) combined for almost 70 points. These are not two teams to be taken lightly though as the Nighthawks dug in. The colossal failure of the Nighthawks entire receiving corp who only scored 21 points doomed the Nighthawks, to the point that even before the end of the game, Coach Fuel For Blood was making reservations got the Torpedo Bowl. The Nighthawks were relying on Austin Eckler (RB) on Monday night but the game was just too big. In a statement performance, and a warning to the league, the Who Dat Nation Rises dispose of the Helmand Nighthawks from the Torpedo Bowl, with a convincing 185 - 96 win.
In Australia, on a hot 35 Celsius Christmas Day weekend, the Taipans welcomed the Drunk Monkeys to town. In the Taipans first year winning the regular season, you would think they might start out as favorites, but as we have chronicled year after year, the Drunk Monkeys are the best damm team that doesn't show up - and this year they had the chance to thieve a Torpedo Bowl appearance by phoning it in. The Drunk Monkeys started less than a point favorites after some change in personnel by the Taipans. That change in personnel did nothing on Thursday night and Coach Pioneer tweeted "Ut Oh". The Monkeys came to play, with Justin Jefferson (WR) annihilating the Taipans as they did in the Week One victory. This game went back and forth with the lead changing seven times on Saturday alone. The Monkeys made one error, which may haunt them, by starting the Broncos (DEF) who recorded a -4 score, taking points off the board. On Monday night the Taipans held a slender lead, with the final score predicted to be a line call. Could the Monkeys upset the entire league and knock off the regular season champions? A slow start by both Justin Herbert (QB) for the Monkeys and Keenan Allen (WR) for the Taipans saw the shootout potential of this game get snuffed out before the quarter of the weekend. Despite the 3-1 player advantage on Monday night, the Taipans hold on and punch their ticket to the torpedo Bowl 16- - 120.
So with all games completed that leaves up one week to settle this season.
The Australian Taipans get a second home game to host the Torpedo Bowl and welcome the Who Dat Nation to the sub tropics. The Nation and the Taipans have split the regular series one game apiece.
The bronze medal game this year will be unfamiliar territory for the Helmand Nighthawks as they welcome the Drunk Monkeys to town. The Nighthawks, after getting off to a surprisingly uncharacteristic slow start to the regular season, found themselves short on one game, relegating them to a second home game at Wembley. The Nighthawks only played the Drunk Monkeys one time this year and were 30 point losers. After their shock exit from the Torpedo Bowl, Mister Chris is not going to let the Monkeys swing freely through his stadium.
In the Consolation Series, the Boss team gets their second post season home game in the debut year, as they host the Guns of Hochuli. These two teams split the regular season games 1-1 with lopsided victories to each team. This will be a great show of strength for the Bosses who in their first year will be meeting a former Torpedo Bowl Champion.
The other Consolation Series game sees the other expansion team from England, the Banter Brigade, getting their first post season home field game. Now, with the Banter sharing their field with the premier league, this game has been flexed a short distance away to Manchester. The Banter Brigade only meet once in the regular season with the Banter getting the best of the Black Cats.
One week to go folks, it all comes down to next week.
But this week, and every week week, (including the week where our post vanished) the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.
Hard to look past a performance that carries your team from the jaws of defeat to an appearance in the Torpedo Bowl. For the effort of 13 receptions for 109 yards and 2 touchdowns, for a total of 41.90 points, the Week Sixteen MVT goes to T.J. Hockenson (TE) of the Who Dat Nation Rises.
