GUNNERS THIEVE TORPEDO BOWL
Upset win over the Nighthawks
Holy crap! In a league first, the team that ghosted their way into the playoffs has taken down the stalwart of the league in a convincing manner to become the new Torpedo Bowl Champion. How did this occur?
We'll get to the biggest upset win in league history right after we pick ourselves up off the floor. In the meantime, here's a message form our sponsors.
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They entered the Torpedo Bowl thirty point underdogs. They foundered through the regular season picking off wins here and there, and finally in Week 15 Coach Casey showed up, made some positional changes and charged into the post season. First, he defeated the season long league leader to clinch a play off berth. Then, he did it a second time in the first week of the post season proving that it was no fluke. And now, he has completed the biggest coup de grace not seen before. But it wasn't without drama - and where there's drama, there's Antonio Brown. After claiming Brown off waivers Coach Casey put him in for a half a game, then pulled him out. Brown (WR) sitting on the sideline received a text message to pack his bags and lave - and he did - storming off at half time. By then however, the damage had been done.
The Helmand Nighthawks were hosting the Gunners having already disposed of them in the regular season, No one expected Mister Chris and the Nighthawks to do anything but fly over the Guns of Hochuli who only had a 29% chance of winning.
Gunners came out and quickly erased the deficit with Amon St. Brown, (WR) a no name whom we haven;t talked about all year, and out up 42 points on his own. The steal was on. When Rob Gronkowski (TE) went for over 100 yards himself, the Gunners put themselves in position to lead the game. Helmand Nighthawks were not helped by AJ Brown (RB) and Greg Kittle (TE) who both put up single digit scores. By the time that Nighthawks brought Aaron Rodgers (QB) on the field, the engravers were already working on the Torpedo Bowl etching the Guns of Hochuli into the base. In the wildest upset that we have ever seen, the Helmand Nighthawks collapse resembles the English batting in the Ashes, and they just petered out long before the final score was completed. As if to put an exclamation point on the score, Gunners put up the highest score of all games on the weekend. In runaway win, the Guns of Hochuli having ghosted through the first thirteen weeks of the season, return and account for the Helmand Nighthawks 160-112.
In the race for the bronze medal, having been defeated last week by the Guns of Hochuli, the Australian Taipans were hosting the Black Cats at the LA Colosseum. The Colosseum was not expecting the Taipans to be playing so they had already started laying down the dirt for the future Nascar race next month, forcing the game to be played on a field reminisce of the Oakland Raiders dirt field. This was the expected no contest as the Taipans started 70 points head start and won the game by almost that margin. Taipans handle the Black Cats 143 - 76.
In the Toilet Bowl game, the Who Dat Nation Rises makes their first appearance hosting the Drunk Monkeys. Monkeys finished the season 4-11 and this was predicted to be the closest game of the week. It was not to be , as the Who Dat Nation hand the Monkeys another ass beating. The Drunk Monkeys still have one more player to take the field tonight, Washington (DEF) but his game is over bar the shouting. The Who Dat Nation Rises out of the Toilet Bowl and flushes the Drunk Monkeys 154 points to a possible 85.
Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.
Hard to overlook the performance of the entire Guns of Hochuli team this week as they account for the Goliath of the league, but we found a one stand out. For the effort of passing for 6 receptions for 63 yards and three touchdowns and an additional 6 rushing yards, for a total of 30.90 points, the Week Seventeen MVT goes to DK Metcalf (WR) of the Guns of Hochuli.
Tomorrow, we'll be back with our All Star team. Prior to Christmas the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) had gotten together and decided on who to honor this year. Unfortunately, we lost a such a significant person since then that we had to Zoom conference an additional meeting to review just the name of the team. Tomorrow, we'll unveil just who receives that honor.
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