SUBSIM Radio Room Forums - View Single Post - I wrote a novel about cargo submarines. Want to test read it? (For free of course.)

Shady Bill · 10-11-22, 05:00 PM

I did some more reading. Made it to page 90 this morning with my coffee.

Just to give you heads up; I did not read the preface. I want to go into a book knowing nothing about it. I want to have no preconceived notions of the world I am about to enter.

What I really like (having read to page 90)

1) So far, I have no idea what year it is or where this takes place. At this point, the story could be a sci-fi story about some sort of steampunk submarine, in a strange, infinitely deep ocean on a strange planet. This is great! I absolutely love this. It almost feels like Mad Max on water, with subs. Especially when Percy's sub first gets rammed by the Authority sub.

2) The whole scene describing their sub sinking and them fighting to avoid this. Really well described, it reads very "fast", like an action movie. You have no need to worry about not adding enough real life submarine science...more than enough is there for an average reader. I think any more would bog the story down.

3) I enjoy the characters, but I will say having read only to page 90; I don't feel like I know them yet. I want to know more about their backgrounds. But all that might still come

4) So far, for me the three stars are Percy, Hemi and Shakes. I have high hopes for Shakes. We just ran into that crazy bastard when we surfaced Prospect.

What I do not like:

1) There is too much swearing. I am not bothered by foul language one bit. I tend to find it charming as it gives the characters an edgy, saltiness.
You are overdoing it here. There is *way* to many F-bombs. There are also some expressions that could be considered offensive to women. I guess it is your choice, but it could alienate some. I don't mind a little swearing to create character, but there are times it is off-putting (at least for me). This of course, is a rough draft, so no problems there.

2) Sort of because part 1 above, I don't like the Chip character (page 21 we meet her). I think the whole "edgy, gruff mechanic girl fixing the sub or the spaceship" has been often done before. If you want to use this type of arch-character, I need to know way more about her. But again, i am only at page 90.

Can't wait to read more. Very impressed so far. I almost hope it doesn't become a WW2 type thing. Not sure if the sci fi genre has touched on alien deep ocean travel. But whatever comes, I am sure it will be very interesting.

I will update more as I read tonight and tomorrow morning. I wanted you to know I am taking the time to really experience the book. When I am done I will do a character analysis of all the main characters.

10-11-22, 05:00 PM	#18
Shady Bill Silent but not deadly Join Date: Oct 2022 Location: Somewhere north of AN34 Posts: 171 Downloads: 16 Uploads: 0	Page 90 - opinions so far. I did some more reading. Made it to page 90 this morning with my coffee. Just to give you heads up; I did not read the preface. I want to go into a book knowing nothing about it. I want to have no preconceived notions of the world I am about to enter. What I really like (having read to page 90) 1) So far, I have no idea what year it is or where this takes place. At this point, the story could be a sci-fi story about some sort of steampunk submarine, in a strange, infinitely deep ocean on a strange planet. This is great! I absolutely love this. It almost feels like Mad Max on water, with subs. Especially when Percy's sub first gets rammed by the Authority sub. 2) The whole scene describing their sub sinking and them fighting to avoid this. Really well described, it reads very "fast", like an action movie. You have no need to worry about not adding enough real life submarine science...more than enough is there for an average reader. I think any more would bog the story down. 3) I enjoy the characters, but I will say having read only to page 90; I don't feel like I know them yet. I want to know more about their backgrounds. But all that might still come 4) So far, for me the three stars are Percy, Hemi and Shakes. I have high hopes for Shakes. We just ran into that crazy bastard when we surfaced Prospect. What I do not like: 1) There is too much swearing. I am not bothered by foul language one bit. I tend to find it charming as it gives the characters an edgy, saltiness. You are overdoing it here. There is way to many F-bombs. There are also some expressions that could be considered offensive to women. I guess it is your choice, but it could alienate some. I don't mind a little swearing to create character, but there are times it is off-putting (at least for me). This of course, is a rough draft, so no problems there. 2) Sort of because part 1 above, I don't like the Chip character (page 21 we meet her). I think the whole "edgy, gruff mechanic girl fixing the sub or the spaceship" has been often done before. If you want to use this type of arch-character, I need to know way more about her. But again, i am only at page 90. Can't wait to read more. Very impressed so far. I almost hope it doesn't become a WW2 type thing. Not sure if the sci fi genre has touched on alien deep ocean travel. But whatever comes, I am sure it will be very interesting. I will update more as I read tonight and tomorrow morning. I wanted you to know I am taking the time to really experience the book. When I am done I will do a character analysis of all the main characters.