Shawn, if you're missing ahead, you most certainly have the speed estimated too high for some reason. Missing ahead is not easy to do, so it is the easiest to diagnose. Go over how to determine the target speed again.
Identifying by keyboard command is part of Trigger Maru and my TMOkeys mod, where you lock on a target, press shift-i and a handy crewman eventually id's the target. Identifying the target is NOT NECESSARY with the Dick O'Kane procedure, and was only done to make the video more interesting. People enjoy plugging a tanker!
Keep at it. You know you're close to making it work. Good shooting so far!