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^ this joke has been around here for three years, only with Brad Pitt, Trump, an old man and a boy.

Brad Pitt says "my friends, fans and family need me", grabs a parachute, jumps.
Trump says "i will be the most clever president of the US, people need me", and jumps.
The old man tells the boy to take the last parachute, but the boy says "no problem there are two left, the most clever president took my rucksack".

Nice propaganda :03:

Yep, there are more variants of this than any other joke I can remember :yep:

Top 5 worst ever Irish inventions.

1. Inflatable dartboard.
2. Diet water.
3. Helicopter ejector seat.
4. Wooden barbecue.
5. Non-stick toilet paper.

A recent scientific study has found that 9/10 men prefer big boobs. The other man prefers the 9 men.

When I was in EOD our team was involved in testing of ejection seats for helicopters.



A wacky idea, but dooable. Wisely the USAF decided that autogyroing in is still a good thing for a helo.



But there were some interesting designs that were tested on our range.

I hate being bipolar, it’s amazing.

We are 10 days into this new self isolation and it is really upsetting to witness my wife standing at the living room windows staring aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks!

It breaks my heart to see her like this 😢

I have thought very hard about how I can help her and cheer her up!

I have even considered letting her in....... but rules are rules!

Slept on the sofa last night. Apparently when my wife asked me to bring her something from the store for pancakes she wasn’t talking about a bra.

On day 11 of lock down I was working in the study and my wife called upstairs, "do you have pains in your chest, like maybe somebody was sticking pins in a voodoo doll of you ?", "No" I replied don't be so daft I'm working. There was a pause and she shouted up "How about now ?" .....

Just had a cup of tea with some Viagra sprinkled in it. It doesn’t really taste any different but its great at stopping your biscuits going soft.

My wife created a website earlier today to give advice to people who are victims of domestic abuse. She’s had 50 hits today already.

A funeral was held today for the inventor of air conditioning.
Thousands of fans attended.